FYIYT – Selene

In a first of many (I hope) we are doing a segment called “Fuck You, It’s Your Turn”. This is about interviewing people of interest, great bloggers, friends, family and others.

This one this week is with Selene, the creator of hoochie-coochie-hotsauce, the amazing sex positive blog. This beautiful young woman has honestly been a dream to talk to both in real life and this interview. If you are on tumblr please follow her, you will not regret it!!!

As you could probably guess this is NSFW, contains sexual language and all views are of the person/s interviewed. Also just as a content warning there is also discussion on consent and may not be a good read for some.

So before we start can you quickly tell me about your blog? Why did you start it?

I started my blog because there was a lot of sexual misinformation going around. There needed to be someone to stand up and educate people on safe fun trusting ways to have sex.

Have you received any good or bad feedback from having such a sex positive blog on Tumblr?

Not as of yet, but I went into this expecting some resistance from groups who promote abstinence, or feminist extremist culture groups.

Do you think, in today’s climate, that there is such a pressure to have great sex and to look pretty?

I do, we see fashion magazines pushing weight lose and “get your summer body now”, and plenty of sex articles on “10 ways to have great sex”. We should all learn to explore each others bodies and figure out the pleasure points, instead of following an article that probably isn’t true and gives misinformation.

It also doesn’t help that celebrities, who young girls and young boys idolize, conforming to the pressure you see out there

Recently in the news there has been a massive pressure on “TopShop” to change the size of their shop models to a more realistic size. Do you agree that clothing manufacturing groups should do that everywhere, to create a much better body positive attitude or do you think that the companies should have a choice?

I think the companies should have the choice. It’s not our right to say whether or not a store (that is privately owned) should change what they do with mannequins. Also the mannequin isn’t there to make anyone feel good, it’s there to display the clothing, its just there to show people what the outfit looks like off of a hanger. I think some people forget that. It doesn’t help that pressure comes from all angles to be a skinny model shape. We all aren’t 6ft plus and skinny as a rail like models are.

Body positivity doesn’t start with a mannequin, or an article telling you what you should do, or how much you should weigh. It starts with inside of you, you have to accept who you are, and if you don’t like who you are, you have to make the healthy smart changes for that.

In the UK porn laws changed this year so you are unable to create films (on UK soil)  in an “adult extreme fetish manner”. What they did was ban fisting, spanking, whips, watersports, female ejaculation and face sitting. There was a massive uproar and a lot of people accused the MPs of banning only porn that showed female empowerment. Do you think that all these types of acts should have been banned?

No. The reason I think they shouldn’t have been banned is because everyone has a fetish and, if those kinks aren’t being fulfilled, frustration builds. It can hinder daily life.

It’s all about consent, all parties (in porn) should be signing a waver. The waver states that the parties involved do not have HIV/AIDS, no STDs/ STIs, and that they consent to the actions about to be filmed. I see no reason to ban these films.

To me porn is a good outlet to relieve stress, and stress reduces risk for suicides, it increases productivity at work, and makes friendships and family relationships more manageable. And, by removing the particular fetish outlet, Parliament is creating a forced stressed atmosphere.

There have also been talks about porn sites being made to take peoples credit card details to prove the viewers are over 18, do you think this would be a sensible idea? What do you think is the best way of stopping minors from viewing porn?

That’s a good question, I don’t think that is a good way, because of free porn sites, like xhamster, pornhub, and their brother sites. Also not everyone wants to have a porn site listed on a card statement, especially since lots have husbands and wives.

The issue with a card is it also gives those sites permission to charge for what ever they want, whether it’s an entrance fee or a minimal charge per video viewed.

People have to realise that teens are going to want to know about sex and they want to explore what really turns them on. Because sex education preaches about abstaining, teens don’t know where to find good information about sex so where else will they go? Porn.

To combat minors viewing porn I would say that for every viewer a profile being made an ID verification is required.
Also a policy needs to be set in place where the web admin can’t extort someone.

Do you feel like the sex industry (in all forms) is taking advantage of people who are in desperate situations? Do you think that sex work should be decriminalised throughout the world for the safety of workers?

By and large yes, especially in the caming industry, there are girls that are being forced to work for the minimum amount to survive, they work 12+ hours a day and are taken advantage of by their studio managers, not only financially but physically too.

I do believe that sex work should be decriminalised, unless the worker is being exploited. There needs to be a safe outlet for the workers to turn to if they need help. If they stay out of jail they can continue to feed their families and progress towards a better life.

Do you feel that, with all these restrictions, peoples safety will be put at risk, because of how uneducated they might become?

Uneducated?

Uneducated about sex, with no knowledge or understanding, sorry I worded that badly

It’s okay. Yes, if women and men are entering this field they need as much education as possible, whether it is self defence, birth control options, a buddy system, or education about drugs. It needs to be done. We will see less women and men being hurt, taken advantage of, and contracting STDs/STIs.

Talking of safety – BDSM, Do you feel that the “50 Shades of Grey” books have damaged the community and that they cast a shadow on what the kink scene is truly about?

Very much so, there are so many sides to BDSM. I feel like 50 Shades was made strictly for getting horny housewives off. Not all BDSM is about cuffs, whips, chins and leather. For some it is that, and for others it is a dominant/sub form. There is even a sensory side. I feel that the books and the movie portrayed a non existent version and excluded the real concept and thought behind what BDSM truly is.

What does consent mean to you?

Consent used to be a black and white area, if you and your partner said yes then it was classified as consent. Now-a-days, consent seems different now. To me consent is black and white, whether you are drunk or knowingly drugged, if the persons involved said yes then to me consent was given.

A lot of your entry’s talk about lube, what is your favourite brand?

Well my favourite is probably “ID Glide”. Its a water based lube it has virtually no smell and is super easy to clean off toys or even sheets.

And it’s extremely inexpensive.

If you could design a sex toy, what would it look like?

Hmm, something along the lines of the rabbit head (on the rabbit vibe) with a g-spot attachment for the magic wand, both stimulations create one explosive orgasm.

I would call it The G Bunny!!!

Which is your favourite toys and / or companies?

I personally love my Hitachi magic wand with the g-spot attachment and speed controller. I love how the attachment hits the right spot and the and the the speed controller allows me to control when I cum.

How does Clyde (the husband) feel about your blog?

He supports it 100%. He sees that there is a huge populace out there that is so uneducated about sex. He has even helped me with “research”. He understands that people will engage in sexual activity and that it is a biological need. He, like me, wants people to be safe, smart, and have a lot of fun while having sex and exploring other kinks in the bedroom.

Have you had any unusual requests on your blog?

To be honest, no. I think people are scared to ask about the unusual, I think they fear that they will be judged in a negative light. With my blog that’s just not the case. It’s a safe, secure place for anyone to ask and explore and no judgements will be passed. We all have our special kink, so be open about it and let others know that it is enjoyable.

What is the best question you have been asked so far?

Hmm, probably about my sex life, people look at me and think I’m modest or a “do it in the dark with the lights off” kind of person but I’m far from it, I have a toy collection and I bring it into bed with me. I love sex, and the connection it brings me to my husband. I just want others to have as fulfilling of a sex life as I have.

What would be your top 5 music tracks for when you are getting it on?

I have never listened to music during sex. I like the sound of the other person, I  like to focus on the movement of their body. I also talk during sex. Could that be classified as a sound track?

That could be considered music.

Beautiful music at that 🙂

Finally, if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?

Lol umm, that’s a good question. I think i would be a mango, because it’s sweet and soft. It is also a pretty popular fruit.

Thank you for answering all my questions

I had fun answering them.

If you want to know more about Selene or her blog, head on over to hoochie-coochie-hotsauce and start following it!

Thank you for reading and keep an eye out next Friday for another interview!