As you know by now, I’m always happy to have guest posts from time to time. To say thank you to the wonderful members of a certain Facebook group. I opened up my blog to who ever wanted to guest post.
Today we have some wonderful poetry done by Ashley. They are such a wonderful person and if you have Tumblr, you should follow them. Their link is here
So without further rambling from me, I give you Ashley.
So this week I was a total idiot, and totally didn’t have time to arrange an interview with someone. My brain has been over the place lately and I have failed to do the most basic of tasks, mainly communicate with the outside world. A good friend said that I should just do me, but get random people in groups to ask me questions. And that’s what exactly I have done. I would like to say thank you to P0j0 for having the group in the first place, and introducing me to some wonderful people. If you do not know him, I probably could list a few face book pages (links just below) he runs and you will know them. He also has a tumblr
*homos, heteros, and a whole lot more
*disappointing popsicle jokes
* the best of tumblr
* government secrets
* old school cartoons
* just another meme in the feed
Thank you to everyone who sent me a question, I don’t think I left out any of them. If you are one of those people who did help towards this post. Feel free to submit anything for future Friday posts. It can be a drawing, picture, poem, interview, anything. Fridays are always for guests.
These questions are entirely random. They may have no relevance to a lot of people, unless they know other people/ inside jokes/ situations. So I apologise in advance, this nay just seem like a whole bunch of muttering.
I don’t think there is anything that I need to content warn, but just in case, I do mention about coming out, views on the monarchy, an appreciation of a great beard, and I believe there is some swearing in this.
what’s the hardest choice you’ve ever had to make? Hardest thing you have ever done?
Honestly, finally coming out as trans for the second time. I tried once when I was 14 and was told that I might as well be a lesbian, because no one would ever cone near me. In all honestly, it didn’t help that at the time I was “confused” about my sexual identity also. Being bisexual just wasn’t a thing, you were either gay or straight. I quickly went back in the closet, because it was too much to handle.
I came out again 11 years later, and this time I didn’t back down. I lost a fair few things in my life, friends, a marriage, ect. But what I gained from it was a new life, a sense of being, I could finally be the person I had been trying to hide away from since as early as I could remember. Probably getting rid of my father was probably up there too. I mean initially I wanted to give him the chance to be in my life but he pissed it up the wall. No matter how much someone let’s you down, it still hurts. Once I cut him out of my life though, everything was so much better. I realised that I didn’t need him. I was better without him, and in all honestly my mum has been more of a father figure then he ever will.
If a rapper was to compose the soundtrack/score for what will be a great sequel to one of your favourite movies.
What rapper would it be, and for what movie sequel?
One of my favourite films is “Sid n Nancy” now, in order for this to work, we would have to erase the fact that it was a true story about the punk bassist of the sex pistols, who killed himself after killing his girlfriend. So he’s still alive. She’s still alive. Secondly, we would have to make a leap from 70s anarchist punk, to rap. Though both to share the same ideals, and same back stories. So I would probably have the sequel based pretty close to where it ended, and pick it up in the 80s. So for rappers, I would probably chose NWA, Run DMC, Public Enemy.
If you were chosen by The UK Dream Team ™ to create and present an argument for a nation to re-join our glorious empire, how would it go?
I wouldn’t, honestly we are at a state now where we shouldn’t add any more countries to us. In fact we should just admit that the whole empire is based entirely on slavery, and rather than the glorified “commonwealth” that its called. We should make appropriate action where countries could live independently without fear.
If The Queen released a speech detailing her plans to take back the empire, do you trust the UK Dream Team™ in fulfilling this promise?
I would hope that the dream team would let the queen sink under her own ship. There is no need to re create an empire.
What is your favoured political party?
Green, sorry but they are the closest in what I believe in.
Do you believe that we should continue having a monarchy?
Honestly no, there is no need for a family to be paraded around at tax payers expense. Yes the do some charity work, but the money used to keep them happy, could go straight back into communities that need it.
Do you prefer scones or biscuits with your tea?
Depends on the weather. Hot day, scones, with Jam, and cream.
Please describe in detail what you would do with Alfredo Ramos if you had him to yourself for an entire weekend.
Joe, why must you do this to me!!!
OK, so its been public knowledge since forever that I feel things for this man. His beard makes me tingle in ways, no other beard would. It depends where we were, cause if we were in america, we would probably road trip trying to find the perfect hot dog venue. Eat said hot dogs then probably sit and watch Netflix, chill and probably play mortal kombat.
However if Freddy was to come to the UK, him and I have plans that no one except Kai knows about. The trips already planned.
Tesco, ASDA, Morrison’s, Waitrose (HAHA) or Sainsbury’s?
Morrison’s, because they are actually pretty good, though I live right near a co-op and a tesco.
Please describe Texas from your British point of view.
Big hats, electric chairs, 70% desert. Has some guy called Joe living there. Backwards law system, terrible medical care, and the bush’s live there.
How do you say scones?
S-cone
If you could have any one thing in the world, but at the cost of your S/O’s life, what would it be?
Probably it would have to be a cure for cancer. Something on that level. If I can’t have any of my partners because of this choice, It would have to be something as big as that.
Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
The one person I trust the most. Love is easier to gain back more than trust, and it takes me a very long time to trust someone.
If we have an eternity of non-existence before us, and an eternity of non-existence awaiting us, why do we exist?
How do we know we exist? For all we know we could be a part of someone’s story, or someone’s imagination. I don’t think there is ever a way to determine life itself. We are born, we pay taxes, we die. The three things that will happen to everyone. Anything else is a bonus.
Have you ever thought about me in a sexual manner?
No Joe, im sorry to bust your bubble, but you do not have the bearded goodness I require in a sexual fantasy. Also I heard you like Hondas and that’s a massive turn off.
Would you rather:
Nigel Farage,
or
Nichola Sturgeon.
NICHOLA !!!
****Next week should be back to normal. If you have anything you would like to submit for the FYIYT Fridays. Please give me a message 🙂 ****
In a first of many (I hope) we are doing a segment called “Fuck You, It’s Your Turn”. This is about interviewing people of interest, great bloggers, friends, family and others.
This one this week is with Selene, the creator of hoochie-coochie-hotsauce, the amazing sex positive blog. This beautiful young woman has honestly been a dream to talk to both in real life and this interview. If you are on tumblr please follow her, you will not regret it!!!
As you could probably guess this is NSFW, contains sexual language and all views are of the person/s interviewed. Also just as a content warning there is also discussion on consent and may not be a good read for some.
So before we start can you quickly tell me about your blog? Why did you start it?
I started my blog because there was a lot of sexual misinformation going around. There needed to be someone to stand up and educate people on safe fun trusting ways to have sex.
Have you received any good or bad feedback from having such a sex positive blog on Tumblr?
Not as of yet, but I went into this expecting some resistance from groups who promote abstinence, or feminist extremist culture groups.
Do you think, in today’s climate, that there is such a pressure to have great sex and to look pretty?
I do, we see fashion magazines pushing weight lose and “get your summer body now”, and plenty of sex articles on “10 ways to have great sex”. We should all learn to explore each others bodies and figure out the pleasure points, instead of following an article that probably isn’t true and gives misinformation.
It also doesn’t help that celebrities, who young girls and young boys idolize, conforming to the pressure you see out there
Recently in the news there has been a massive pressure on “TopShop” to change the size of their shop models to a more realistic size. Do you agree that clothing manufacturing groups should do that everywhere, to create a much better body positive attitude or do you think that the companies should have a choice?
I think the companies should have the choice. It’s not our right to say whether or not a store (that is privately owned) should change what they do with mannequins. Also the mannequin isn’t there to make anyone feel good, it’s there to display the clothing, its just there to show people what the outfit looks like off of a hanger. I think some people forget that. It doesn’t help that pressure comes from all angles to be a skinny model shape. We all aren’t 6ft plus and skinny as a rail like models are.
Body positivity doesn’t start with a mannequin, or an article telling you what you should do, or how much you should weigh. It starts with inside of you, you have to accept who you are, and if you don’t like who you are, you have to make the healthy smart changes for that.
In the UK porn laws changed this year so you are unable to create films (on UK soil) in an “adult extreme fetish manner”. What they did was ban fisting, spanking, whips, watersports, female ejaculation and face sitting. There was a massive uproar and a lot of people accused the MPs of banning only porn that showed female empowerment. Do you think that all these types of acts should have been banned?
No. The reason I think they shouldn’t have been banned is because everyone has a fetish and, if those kinks aren’t being fulfilled, frustration builds. It can hinder daily life.
It’s all about consent, all parties (in porn) should be signing a waver. The waver states that the parties involved do not have HIV/AIDS, no STDs/ STIs, and that they consent to the actions about to be filmed. I see no reason to ban these films.
To me porn is a good outlet to relieve stress, and stress reduces risk for suicides, it increases productivity at work, and makes friendships and family relationships more manageable. And, by removing the particular fetish outlet, Parliament is creating a forced stressed atmosphere.
There have also been talks about porn sites being made to take peoples credit card details to prove the viewers are over 18, do you think this would be a sensible idea? What do you think is the best way of stopping minors from viewing porn?
That’s a good question, I don’t think that is a good way, because of free porn sites, like xhamster, pornhub, and their brother sites. Also not everyone wants to have a porn site listed on a card statement, especially since lots have husbands and wives.
The issue with a card is it also gives those sites permission to charge for what ever they want, whether it’s an entrance fee or a minimal charge per video viewed.
People have to realise that teens are going to want to know about sex and they want to explore what really turns them on. Because sex education preaches about abstaining, teens don’t know where to find good information about sex so where else will they go? Porn.
To combat minors viewing porn I would say that for every viewer a profile being made an ID verification is required.
Also a policy needs to be set in place where the web admin can’t extort someone.
Do you feel like the sex industry (in all forms) is taking advantage of people who are in desperate situations? Do you think that sex work should be decriminalised throughout the world for the safety of workers?
By and large yes, especially in the caming industry, there are girls that are being forced to work for the minimum amount to survive, they work 12+ hours a day and are taken advantage of by their studio managers, not only financially but physically too.
I do believe that sex work should be decriminalised, unless the worker is being exploited. There needs to be a safe outlet for the workers to turn to if they need help. If they stay out of jail they can continue to feed their families and progress towards a better life.
Do you feel that, with all these restrictions, peoples safety will be put at risk, because of how uneducated they might become?
Uneducated?
Uneducated about sex, with no knowledge or understanding, sorry I worded that badly
It’s okay. Yes, if women and men are entering this field they need as much education as possible, whether it is self defence, birth control options, a buddy system, or education about drugs. It needs to be done. We will see less women and men being hurt, taken advantage of, and contracting STDs/STIs.
Talking of safety – BDSM, Do you feel that the “50 Shades of Grey” books have damaged the community and that they cast a shadow on what the kink scene is truly about?
Very much so, there are so many sides to BDSM. I feel like 50 Shades was made strictly for getting horny housewives off. Not all BDSM is about cuffs, whips, chins and leather. For some it is that, and for others it is a dominant/sub form. There is even a sensory side. I feel that the books and the movie portrayed a non existent version and excluded the real concept and thought behind what BDSM truly is.
What does consent mean to you?
Consent used to be a black and white area, if you and your partner said yes then it was classified as consent. Now-a-days, consent seems different now. To me consent is black and white, whether you are drunk or knowingly drugged, if the persons involved said yes then to me consent was given.
A lot of your entry’s talk about lube, what is your favourite brand?
Well my favourite is probably “ID Glide”. Its a water based lube it has virtually no smell and is super easy to clean off toys or even sheets.
And it’s extremely inexpensive.
If you could design a sex toy, what would it look like?
Hmm, something along the lines of the rabbit head (on the rabbit vibe) with a g-spot attachment for the magic wand, both stimulations create one explosive orgasm.
I would call it The G Bunny!!!
Which is your favourite toys and / or companies?
I personally love my Hitachi magic wand with the g-spot attachment and speed controller. I love how the attachment hits the right spot and the and the the speed controller allows me to control when I cum.
How does Clyde (the husband) feel about your blog?
He supports it 100%. He sees that there is a huge populace out there that is so uneducated about sex. He has even helped me with “research”. He understands that people will engage in sexual activity and that it is a biological need. He, like me, wants people to be safe, smart, and have a lot of fun while having sex and exploring other kinks in the bedroom.
Have you had any unusual requests on your blog?
To be honest, no. I think people are scared to ask about the unusual, I think they fear that they will be judged in a negative light. With my blog that’s just not the case. It’s a safe, secure place for anyone to ask and explore and no judgements will be passed. We all have our special kink, so be open about it and let others know that it is enjoyable.
What is the best question you have been asked so far?
Hmm, probably about my sex life, people look at me and think I’m modest or a “do it in the dark with the lights off” kind of person but I’m far from it, I have a toy collection and I bring it into bed with me. I love sex, and the connection it brings me to my husband. I just want others to have as fulfilling of a sex life as I have.
What would be your top 5 music tracks for when you are getting it on?
I have never listened to music during sex. I like the sound of the other person, I like to focus on the movement of their body. I also talk during sex. Could that be classified as a sound track?
That could be considered music.
Beautiful music at that 🙂
Finally, if you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?
Lol umm, that’s a good question. I think i would be a mango, because it’s sweet and soft. It is also a pretty popular fruit.
Thank you for answering all my questions
I had fun answering them.
If you want to know more about Selene or her blog, head on over to hoochie-coochie-hotsauce and start following it!
Thank you for reading and keep an eye out next Friday for another interview!
For the first time ever I have entirely scrapped a post and decided to re-write the whole thing. Though my intentions for the original post were meant to be positive, looking back at it, it was written so badly, it had to go. Sorry for any one who had read the original post and liked it, looking at it now, I really don’t.
When I first started blogging I honestly had no idea about how my language and posts could come across. I was so built up that everyone should be treated equal and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you wanted but that is not the case. I was blinded by my own privileges to actually see that people DO NOT have free speech. And that you should take away peoples voices if the platform and the content is poisonous.
Now one thing I’m going to still agree with out of all of the whole post. Tumblr still annoys me, and I feel like it brings up a lot of hate and fighting, when it could be used to fight a better purpose. I however am using it a bit more now, and have removed blogs that I feel are poisonous.
I also posted about trigger warnings. And although I feel like “trigger” has been turned into a fucking joke, and it really has by some. I now totally understand why people use content warnings. People can be affected by what you write, how you respond, and everyone is entitled to have an opinion and also have the ability not to read something that might bring them distress. For the people who read my previous post, I am sorry.
I still however feel that anyone can be educated and have their mind changed about opinion. I feel like at some point we have all made mistakes and taken part in things that we shouldn’t have, but we have learned and have been educated. I however feel that it’s not my place to always educate cis people about my transition or always educate about my mental health. Its in the individual to learn by themselves.
Since writing this I have learned that if you have the ability to speak freely, you should do so and in positivity towards minorities that might not have the same privileges as you do. That if you see something unjust, you should call it out and erase the problem. You should also continue to keep using your abilities to speak up, even when oppressive people try and shoot you down.
Finally, I would like to apologise from the bottom of my heart about the original post. I am very sorry about what I wrote and I have learned from the experience.
Tyler Charles Austen 