CN – This post contains discussion on racism, racist language, racist behaviour and mentions violent treatment towards people of colour.
Yesterday I spoke with a wonderful person at The Marlborough, and we were discussing how people need to accept their privileges in order to understand how other people do suffer. And it got me thinking about my own.
I know I’m white, and this means that I’m less likely to be attacked by strangers, less likely for me to be abused because I’m queer and my opinion is more likely to be listened to and treated with respect. THIS I WAS TOTALLY AWARE OF. We live in a shit world that because of a persons colour they will be treated differently and white people will always have the final say, regardless of whether its right or wrong.
I also live in a town and country where I’m less likely to be abused then if I was a trans queer person in a majority of other places. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but I am able to at least step outside my own door from time to time. This isn’t possible for many queer people out there.
There was one other thing I discovered, where I do get read male by friends and society (not by choice, because I less than pass, but more because I work in a masculine environment and have paper work calling me Mr) I am not slut shamed for my public non monogamy. I am not told to my face that being in a relationship with 2 people is wrong, and in fact people often want to talk to me about it. I’m not called a slut or a whore, I’m not told that I need to choose which partner and I am often praised for being “brave” to discuss my relationships and display them so openly. And this is because I’m seen as male. White and male.
I know its tough to talk about your own privileges and as white people we get defensive over this. We need to be honest and take good looks in the mirror and realised that we get away with far more than any person of colour , and especially much more than queer people of colour. We need to start creating honest dialogue and start realising that we not only need to educate other people on privilege but we need to educate ourselves too.
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You know what, I’m going to say it sometimes, the trans and queer community fucking sucks. Do you know what sucks more than politics, queer politics.
Its based on a bull shit lie. Do you know what half of the community is? White angry people who claim to be allies when really they are not. Now I’m not saying being white or being angry isn’t OK. Fuck that. What’s not is OK, is that I have seen some incredibly offensive people in the queer community and they just need to leave.
There are a few people who identify as queer activists , who are white, and do not understand the issues and cultural appropriation with having their hair in dreads or corn rows. In fact they have said how they are a fashion statement more than anything. If you have chosen not to educate yourself on this, and still wear them, please vacate from the queer circles.
There are a few trans activists that REFUSE to accept non-binary folk or people who’s gender expression is beyond the basic construct of male or female. There are people who are in the trans community who refuse (or worse forget) that “they” is a legitimate alternative as a pronoun. There are also trans activists that after MONTHS of telling them not to misgendered someone who uses other pronouns, they still claim to forget, or choose not to be respectful.
To add to this point, I have heard non-binary queer people, tell other non-binary queer people, that they are not queer/non-binary enough. If you are one of these people who thinks its OK to belittle someone because what you see is “non-binary” and “queer” isn’t the way that makes you happy, then get the fuck out of my breathing space .
We do not tell someone that they are not trans enough, so what makes you think this is acceptable. Being queer isn’t about how you dress, or how your gender expression needs to be loud and out there. It doesn’t. Its about fighting oppression, something I thought we wouldn’t need to do in our own community. What we need to do is to keep ourselves educated, listen to minorities and stop oppressive systems. What we do not need to do is police someone’s gender, critique someone’s clothing or allow racist and prejudice people into spaces that are meant to be safe.