So as you have noticed, I have been away for a little bit.
Physical health hasn’t been great as of late and adjusting to being a semi permanent wheelchair user has become in all honesty and exhausting challenge. That and I started having massive problems with loosing bits I had written, such as reviews and events and it had honestly torn my heart out loosing content I had worked so hard on.
On the light side of all of this. Problems are now reasonably resolved. Things are looking up and I am finally on route to getting my hysterectomy. This has been a long time coming and well potentially be the last thing to do in regards of physically transition. So yes, touch wood, I am now back and things shall be progressing on this site.
Things to look forward include the possibility of a podcast in the new year, transcribed into blog posts, a talk in line with a clothing company, museum gossip and well this gay agender half cyborgs rants and posts about transition and the rest of life’s bullshit. Oh and the discussions of the PreP trial
Whispers – Queer Dating Series maybe back for a special wheelchair issue, so watch this space
Let’s raise a glass to progress, the up and coming new year and everything good that is coming out now.
It has been 4 weeks (tomorrow) since my top surgery, so I thought I would give an update about how it is going.
Physically really well. My scarline is much smaller than anticipated and the swelling is going down now. I’m still covered on residue glue, which is fine. But they look like streaky dirt lines. I still look a bit wonky and bulgy in places, but it’s normal and worst case is that I have a revision before I get my nipples tattooed.
Pain wise , it’s getting there. It still hurts from time to time, and it’s more of an ache than anything else throughout the day, but it’s livable.
Emotionally, I’m fucking drained. I want to be better and go back to normal life, what ever the fuck that is. I know I’m about half way through recovery and that sucks so much.
Apart from that, I’m taking each day as it comes. The title image was done by a wonderful photography student called Anna Lodge who took photos as part of her studies for the university of Sussex, working with specifically under 30s with tattoos.
So on the 12th it was officially two and a half years since I have been on hormone therapy. I think I can safely say that now I’m starting to see some considerable changes from when I first started.
Before i started hormones
For starters I’ve shifted about 20kg in those years, which I’m so fucking proud of. Secondly, I’ve improved mentally, developed more masculine features and the “girl” curves are on their way to leaving. I’m slowly getting the beard (though its not noticeable in the top picture). I’ve also become more confident in myself as the months have passed recently.
Downsides are that I’m STILL suffering from back acne, but its now turning up all over. I think the body wants me to be a hairy bear. I just wish I didn’t have to go through the acne hell before it turns up. Recently my throats been greeting scratchy, so I’m probably due another voice break soon, and sleep is still all over the place. Its also coming up to my first appointment with Charing Cross, so I’m a bit all over the place trying to work out how I feel. Hopefully though I get my first signature for top surgery, but I don’t have my hopes up.
In other news, Valentines day happened on Sunday. I got to spend time with both Steph and Kai at the same time, without it being group work related. Although I think I can say all three of us were feeling like shit that day, we managed to go to dinner at Day’s and spend a little bit of time at The Marlborough. We are planning to see Deadpool on Sunday (expect a review) and I’m going to do separate days with both of them.
I am so lucky to have two wonderful partners who are so supportive, but between partners, groups and sleeping, there are not enough hours in the day to do anything else.
I wouldn’t change it for the world though ❤
I’m going to start with the few notes.
I’m not wasting my breath on the events on Tuesday, whilst I know venting my frustration was the sole reason why I created this blog in the first place, I do not need to get into something just yet. Let’s just say that it was inappropriate, and it will be dealt with in the correct manner. So I’m going to allow spongebob yet again to convey my frustration over this.
Now however for the fun part. I FINALLY GOT MY LETTER THROUGH FROM CHARING CROSS!!!!!
Finally after years of bullshit, Dr battles, getting hormones through an alternative route, and a funding rejection after seeing a surgeon. I can finally deal with the slow process of waiting to see when they will sign me off for top surgery!
The date of the appointment is on the 19th February, and of course I will post about how it went.
Finally there is some good things starting to happen.
Sorry for the short post, but this is just an update on what’s happening at the moment. More posts will follow, once I have cleared my thoughts.
If you have been following me for quite a while , you would realise that I’ve been aiming to get out 3 posts a week and a couple of reviews a month. I would like to explain my recent absence from blogging.
I decided to help with the ball, attended a few prior engagements (happy birthday clare project) and needed some chill out time with some friends. During this time, I also became quite sick and in one day had 3 seizures. I’ve been quite honest about my epilepsy in the past and normally it never used to phase me. But this knocked the living shit out of me. We found out the reason why, and will be certainly more careful with medication in the future, but it worried me quite a bit, because previous to one other that had happened a few months ago, I had managed to be seizure free for a year.
I would like to thank everyone who’s been really supportive the past few days/weeks/months. If I have totally flaked on you recently I’m sorry, I haven’t been with it, the brain refuses to function at the moment.
However I have seen some new people following me, Hello!!! I should be following you all back, if I’m not, give me a kick up the arse.
Anyway, that’s why I have been absent. Normal blogging should resume back to normal
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So I hit 50 posts. I can’t actually believe it. I honestly didn’t think I had got that far if I’m honest. I thought I was at about 30, but I was greeted with this notification in the early hours of the morning *GO ME*
So catching up from this, my most popular one has still been about “Brighton pride” and that’s hit over 800 views now, which is amazing because all I’m doing is ranting about how awful it is.
I have started doing more blog challenges and more posts that will being in more interaction, and I think I will continue to do this more often.
From my last catch up post, I said that I wanted to average out at about 10 views a day, and this month (so far) its been hitting an average of 20, which I’m amazed for, but I know I can do more.
I have found a note book that I’m going to use to write my ideas for new blog posts, so I don’t forget them, and hopefully I will be able to write some successful content.
I still haven’t decided yet whether I want this to be a transition blog, a craft blog, or any other niche blog, so I am going to continue to write about how I’m feeling, and what is affecting me at that time.
I’m going to try and advertise more, and hopefully I will get a larger amount of permanent followers by the end of the year.
I hope that in 50 more posts I can talk about how my views and content has improved, and that we may start talking about making this blog something bigger. Till then, keep reading , and thank you for following.