Turn Off The Light As You Leave

I spent a long time not wanting to write about the EU vote. I wanted people to educate themselves as to why we needed to stay, but alas I woke up this morning to the news that we have left the EU.
It hurts because the people who voted for us to leave are the people its not really going to affect or people who have been lied to.
The moment we got the news on the exit, wanker Farage backtracked and denied that they said that £350 million could go to the NHS. The moment that it was called the pound suddenly fell. In under 24 hours, the country fucked its own currency.
The leave campaign was based on lies, fears and racism. We are not going to get our jobs back, we are not going to get our money back. Those immigrants you have been bitching about, didn’t choose to live in this shit hole of a country, they had to. They have been doing the jobs we don’t want to do.
We had maternity leave, sick leave, holiday pay and actual work laws to stop discrimination and unfair dismissal because of the EU. Those jobs you have been fighting for, no longer care about your health and well being. Hell they are probably going to be sold on overseas.
Violence towards people of colour and queer people have and will continue to rise. UK born POC have been assaulted and abused because right wing cunts think they shouldn’t be in their country. Guess what, white people are not the only people who have a right to be here.
I’ve already had to unfriend and block a few people who I considered as friends. Not because they voted to leave but the racist bullshit they spewed after “they won”. No one fucking won, the people who are happy about this are the people who fucked our country up in the first place.
Now Cameron has resigned (which is the only fucking plus to this) we are going to be stuck with Boris. That stupid idiot is going to be running what remains of this place. Scotland wants out, Northern Ireland will want out, and I don’t blame them. Boris couldn’t even run London let alone the rest of the UK.
Within the next few days and weeks we will finally find out how this is going to pan out for us, but until then stay safe people. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental health day and I thought I would do a post about it. Before I start though, I would like give you readers a warning as to its content. Its going to mention depression, self harm, bipolar, graphic description of suicide, being trans, abuse and rape. If you are unable to cope with the subject matter, please please do not read this. Self care is important, and if you are concerned about your health please seek advice from people you trust.

Recent Struggles With My Inner Demons

Recently I have been struggling. I don’t know what it us with the summer but it always gives me the blues.
I think that recently I have noticed that a few of my friends (who are also trans) have been going further on there route to becoming happier within themselves then I have. I know that its a bloody awful waiting system at gender clinics and that my case isn’t a open and shut case , but I’ve just finished another summer stuck in a fucking binder that causes me to over heat. All I want to do is be like every other man out there and be shirtless, and not be stuck with these huge boobs. It depresses me that I have to wear clothes that hide my figure, otherwise I’m called “she” the whole time.
I think I’m finding especially hard because Kai had his chest surgery last year, and he had been a million times happier. He is developing into a hairy happy human, and yes that makes me happy but sometimes it feels really depressing, because I want to also feel like that. I hate being jealous over my own partner, but that’s what it is. I’m jealous that he’s not got what I want to remove.
I think its because I’ve been thinking lots about gender, and gender perception. I have always been taught that its not what you wear or what your body shape is, you are who you are. But who am I? I know I’m Tyler, I’m on the non binary trans masculine side of life, but what else am I ?
I know that in the autumn months I find things easier because I’m not hot all the time and that I can wear layers without dying of heat exhaustion. That and well autumn is the best season.

Break Ups Are Always Hard To Deal With

This isn’t even my break up. Its my partner, but not even my break up

By now you should know that I am in a poly relationship, and this has meant that we (Kai and I) are able to be with other people that are not just us.
I got Kai with someone a couple of months ago, and I thought they would be compatible to each other. He had been in one other poly relationship previous, and had stated that he wasn’t going to be clingy or needy, and understood that time needs to be shared, and it was a bit of a nightmare recently scheduling time because of Kai’s new job. This would be eventually resolved but times right now are a bit hard.
They broke up. Now its not my place to discuss why or to even run my mouth of about either party. I’m not a total bitch. I however am seeing it from someone that I love having to deal with this.
Its tough. You have to wake up in the morning, and notice that your routine is now different, that your partner might be feeling rejected. They might want to talk about how they are feeling, and how pissed off they are over it. And that’s OK, you just sit and listen to them. At the end of the day they need to to be there for them.
I know he’s struggling with the rejection at the moment, and that’s OK. And I hope that the situation resolves itself. Until then all I can do is sit and listen till he feels ready.