If you have been following my blog, or know me, you would know that I’m Transgender. I have made no attempt to hide it either in my public life or on my blog. If you have just happened to have stumbled on my blog for the first time. Hiiiii, welcome to my blog. You have probably found me in the darker recesses of the internet, lurking in the corner. Please be aware that this post (as most of my other posts) contains some language viewers might find upsetting.
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problems
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I don’t even know why I am writing this. Maybe to actually use this as the space it was intended for, I don’t know.
I’ve been stuck in this dilemma of trying to work out whether I’m actually sick at the moment or that the stuff that’s actually going on around me is actually happening. Honestly, if it wasn’t for a few people right now I don’t know what I would actually do. They have been the ones telling me that all this stuff is real and isn’t going on inside my head. Maybe it would be best if it was. I mean, at least I would know that there wouldn’t be people stirring shit. That people who are being fucked over by services were being helped as opposed to being told to shut up. That the community I had once loved had deep down been nothing more than a two faced piece of shit that was too cowardice to say anything in fear of finding out the truth. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Its not like it will help situations, as we all know my mouth has a tendency to get me into a lot of trouble. Something I’ve been told about one too many times. Maybe because I’m sick and tired of everything being unjust. Maybe its because there is a pain going on in my head that needs to be resolved. That bullshit rumours come out and remind me of shit that’s happened for real. Maybe for once, I kept quiet for so long trying to make thongs perfect that I finally saw the truth in people and it made me snap. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I need to resolve one thing or another. I don’t want to see my world crumble by people who treat others so poorly. I don’t want to be dragged into petty bullshit and squabbles that should be dealt with in school yards and not in adult spaces. Maybe i should just get the fuck out of this world. I don’t know.
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The photo I have started this blog post is quite frankly the most shocking thing I have seen in a very long time. This wasn’t done by a prankster or a nobody. This poster was done by Brighton and Hove pride. (Photo from Instagram, profile kept on there so you can find the original poster) This poster may seem harmless to some, but to people who are trans (note no star) this is telling is that we are not allowed to use the “regular” showers, that we have to have our own showers in fear of upsetting people.
Now before we all get on that high horse of toilets, we all agreed, label them as all gender or just simply “toilet” and it upsets no one. No one goes, “here there is Men’s. Women’s and Trans toilet”. Its fucking degrading. We just say ” assessable to all toilet” SIMPLE.
The part where this is actually painful, when thought of, is that it was done by an LGBT group, and not just a group, the BIGGEST group in Brighton. Segregation of groups was deemed immoral in the 50/60/70s when minorities were refused service because of colour of skin. In the 80/90s it was fought because Gay men and AIDS sufferers were bring rejected to work and refused service because of fear. Since posting this picture , a friend shared it, and made a joke about women with the full package, and I’m honestly upset even more. THIS IS WHAT TERRIBLE WORDING AND PLACEMENT DOES.
For fuck sake. Even Hitler wasn’t so fucking open about segregation like pride have been. I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but if you think of segregated showers, your first thought is Hitler.
Now I know that’s a terrible way to start a post, and yes it was but I was so shocked by that one thing, it sparked me to right the review I honestly didn’t want to write, because I am fully well aware that I am the moaning trans person that always complains about every little thing there is. And yes, I have been putting in the complaints, but that’s because every other queer, bi and trans person has been turned away from the door.
From the sunday of trans pride I knew shit was going to go down. The promise of bisexual representation had been pissed on by a simple act. The final ambassador for pride was announced. This one man stood for what pride truly is, a white male, drug induced, wreckage that even many of the people who saw who it complained, saying that this was not what pride is about. When people put in the complaints, PRIDE accused people of being bullies and that he got his place fairly. There was an uproar, and it was brushed under the carpet by pride, only to be picked up again by the people who attend it.
You want to know why people were pissed off. HE HAS DONE NOTHING TO HELP STOP BULLYING. He has in fact publicly bullied people before, he’s called bisexual people greedy, stated that bi and trans people shouldn’t be in LGBT spaces if they are in a “straight relationship” and said that he was bisexual, just so he could record a song that was so offensive and inappropriate, his piss poor singing couldn’t cover up the fact it was about bisexuals being slutty. Before you say that I’m being a bitchy cunt, I would like to say that he had been one of my friend’s. He had been invited to one of my secret parties, been someone I used to hang round with socially. We stopped being friends the moment he stated last year to my partner, that PRIDE was only for gays. And this was publicly. Not in some shitty Facebook private message, but public on his fan page. He has gone to clubs and started fights, taken so many drugs, he became sick and as for those votes and fans. Yeah, those were bought for him.
Gscene are just as much to blame, if they had done their research, they would have known it was a bad idea. They had seen enough diva photos, stories, hell even venue owners and workers have said how he’s needed to be removed. If Gscene had bothered to do research, maybe they would have found better representation. Just to add though, that Alice is amazing, and if you haven’t read her articles in Gscene or spoken to her for more than 5 minuets, you are missing out. She is a beautiful human being and I love her so dearly.
Photo taken from Instagram – profile kept on so you can find them.
The Saturday of pride and the trip to Hove lawns was pretty uneventful, a few people waived, and I saw someone who looked a little like my biological father. I said very loudly to Kai that if I bumped into my father, I may have to christen my walking cane. The guy looked terrified, and if you were just a look-a-like of Neil, then I apologise that you both heard that, and you are stuck with his build and face.
The parade set up was great, and well done PRIDE for doing that. I’m not going to give you negative feedback where its not needed, you did good arranging everyone, though not all stewards knew what was going on. We got there on time and finished off getting ready. It was hot!
Photos from Edward, the wonderful Chair of FTMB.
One thing that needed to be addressed, the lack of disabled and accessible toilets was just awful. The main disabled toilet was also the women’s toilet. Next year, please be more aware of access needs.
The parade was delayed by an hour and a half and re routed. There was a bomb scare. I would like to thank the people who found this, because the whole day could gave been a disaster. You guys are the real MVPs. The route was re routed to go through western road and it all went pretty well. We were at the beginning also (number 3) so we probably didn’t get to deal with the real drunks.
Getting to the park itself wasn’t bad. Though I can tell you that there was a HUGE police presence. I can also tell you that there were some police workers that were totally inappropriate and incredibly brutal towards people. I think a serious talk about their attitude is needed, and by talk, an actual behaviour review, because it was pretty shit.
Getting into the actual park, I have points to make. One, being asked whether I was disabled was insulting, having access needs would have been appropriate. Telling one of the people to leave and that only one other person could help, was also wrong. Thank you for yet again believing that people are strictly monosexual and that if they were my other partner (who was already in at the time) I would have had to choose between the two to come with me. Other volunteers were really helpful, didn’t make me wait, though, when they tried to get me into the park and get me in via the access tent, it was closed off, and at that point, I couldn’t just stand and wait for someone to open it up, and the staff had no idea where the main person running it was, I said my thank you’s and walked through. They tried so hard to try and get me help from the access tent, but it turns out the access tent wasn’t even accessible.
We tried to get hold of a programme and there was NONE around. We finally found someone with a programme and were shocked that pride had said that they were minimum £1 donation, but had been selling them for £2. This was at the campsite they had got the programme. We noticed that the trans tent (yet again) hadn’t been mentioned and the trans line up hasn’t even been written. There was however two toilets hidden behind the trans tent and that was highly appreciated.
As I walked round what I could I noticed that there was no other trans representation and there was no bi representation, except for once when one of the speakers mentioned “gay and bisexual men”
I had managed to get to the main stage (because even if we had attempted the dance tents, there was zero room) and got quite close. But was constantly pushed and shoved. There should be an area that has chairs. Cause standing and sitting, when its painful to move, is a total nightmare.
We left early because the police vibe, the attitudes and the behaviour of some individuals was just too uncomfortable to be around. I didn’t even get to see human league, the one band I actually wanted to see. Instead what I saw was Tulisa wearing a cat suit and some gay man who I have no idea why he was dancing. Or how he managed to get on the main stage, when so many beautiful local artists were shoved on the radio reverb stage. When we left, we saw a man unconscious with 5 police officers next to him, and they were acting like there was nothing to see. I don’t want to start anything, but he looked pretty roughed up.
The rest of the evening was spent with my beautiful friends. As Kai and I were walking into town in the evening, we got called ladies by a straight girl, because “its pride, every gay man is a lady” and I flipped at her , I told her how inappropriate it was to go up to someone and say that, and when she said that she had done nothing wrong I told her that it was terrible that she would go up to people abs assume their sexuality and gender expression. She got upset and I walked away. THIS WASN’T THE FIRST CASE OF INAPPROPRIATE STRAIGHT PEOPLE. But there are 100s of other Brighton people, and they can say what happened to them.
I’m sorry for the huge rant about pride, but nor everyone got represented, and far too many people need to have a thought about how they need to improve their party.
Side note – The Argus posted nothing about trans prise, nor posted any pictures of either the trans tent, the trans collective or even so much as a flag that wasn’t rainbow. Turns out its not just Pride that are erasing the existence of other identified people.
Positive ending – If you ever want great food, go to lunch positive, they were amazing!!!!
Tyler Charles Austen 