How Things Change (Or Maybe Not)

CN –  Mention of murder of Christa Leigh. 

As I sit here debating whether or not to make myself a coffee, looking at my journal for my upcoming posts in the next month, I had noticed one note I had written. It says “How things have changed for the LGBT community”. I thought yeah things have changed drastically for us in the past few years and that has been wonderful. Then I remembered yesterdays news. 

Yesterday the founding member of Miss Transgender America was found murdered. She is the first transgender woman to be murdered this year. She was murdered by her own husband. Her name is Christa Leigh… DO NOT FORGET HER AS YOU HAVE MANY OTHERS. Things haven’t exactly changed for us now have they?We are at the start of this year. THE VERY FUCKING START and already someone has been murdered. 

LGBT people are still under attack for being who they are, who they were born to be and in 2018 already there shows no sign of this stopping. Systematic oppression is still happening, intersectionality is still not a talked about thing and poverty is on the up. 

Fucking hell, non binary identified folk STILL cannot get married under their correct gender identity and we are supposed to have “equal marriage”. I’ve been barking up this tree now for actual years. YEARS. Myself and my partner have been discussing this issue for 5 years whilst we have been together and still it has not been a thing. I’m going to kick the fuck off about this because, you know what I have kept my mouth shut for a very long time, and I am just about done. When you agree to take part in a film, provide contacts, tell the film maker that no, they are not the first person to be bringing non binary identity into the limelight, give information previously about how your partner even spoke in the house of commons in 2012 to discuss equal marriage and the spousal veto…. Only for that to be disregarded, ignored and not even thanked, it is going to piss people off.  

You want to know what has changed – sweet fuck all, except for the fact that we now have the more vocal, more able bodied, camera pretty shitlords taking credit for something that they never even fucking started. For your information the first non binary person to enter a government building and speak to members of Parliament was in the 90s and not 2017. Oh and before I get the sudden barrage of hate mail that probably is going to come with this as folks realise which film maker I’m calling the fuck out on, you should know this.

• They were invited to film our non binary wedding in 2013
• We were interviewed during their wedding and it got cut – might have been due to the fact that I mentioned that I had a protest wedding for proper equal marriage in 2010
• I hit them up with a contact for the film.

Fuck that actually felt good to get out. But yes, it turns out that disabled trans people have been doing work for a good solid 20+ years and not getting recognised for their work. Something that really fucking hasn’t changed over the years. Will it ever? I fucking hope so but I’m not holding my goddamn breath. 

I mean this isn’t the first time intersectional LGBT folks have and will get shit on. I am public about the fact that even Brighton museum up until THIS MONTH wasn’t fully accessible to people wanting to see the museum of transology, and it was just a goddamn door issue. Poor working class LGBT folks are still being seen as the scum of the earth by many of the richer community folk, and their issues are never addressed and LGBT people of colour still get fuck all platforms and when they finally do speak, they are seen as problematic or trouble “for the rest of us”

I mean fuck, I went off on one because a no trans people had been asked to take part in a conference aimed at the history of someone who was speculated to be non binary and a goddamn trans person told me to stop campaigning and they didn’t give a shit about their peers feelings as they wanted to attend anyway. THIS IS OUR CHANGE. TRANS PEOPLE IN PRIVILEGED SITUATION’S SHITTING ON MARGINAL FOLK. Fucking hell the cishets™ can pack up and leave cause we have trans people doing the emotional labour of tearing down OTHER TRANS PEOPLE for them. 

So in summary – what has changed? Nothing except some of us can get married, and privileged LGBT folks can now shit on others 

Ten things I’m thankful for – Transgender day of Rememberence

This weekend we are reminded of the lives that have been lost, purely on the basis of people being who they are.
This year 271 trans people were reported murdered, though this is only REPORTED. There are 100s of other trans people getting murdered every year, but they get undocumented for one reason or another. Be it, that the country doesn’t recognize trans people or that they just went “unnoticed”

The ten things I’m thankful for are as followed

1 I’m alive – as a trans person that says alot that we live in fear of being attacked
2 I have a supportive family
3 I am in a place of privilege
4 During times like this I am thankful that I am not homeless
5 I am thankful that I am able to have a voice in queer spaces
6 I am thankful that when I get to go home I get to cuddle my pets
7 That we have an NHS service that makes my medical treatment a whole lot easier
8 I have amazing friends
9 I have access to the internet and contacts, if I was ever to have a problem
10 That when I step out, I am less likely to receive abuse, unlike trans women of colour.

I know this is a quick post, but I know there are lots of posts about Trans day of Rememberence

Accepting Your Privileges

Yesterday I spoke with a wonderful person at The Marlborough, and we were discussing how people need to accept their privileges in order to understand how other people do suffer. And it got me thinking about my own.
I know I’m white, and this means that I’m less likely to be attacked by strangers, less likely for me to be abused because I’m queer and my opinion is more likely to be listened to and treated with respect. THIS I WAS TOTALLY AWARE OF. We live in a shit world that because of a persons colour they will be treated differently and white people will always have the final say, regardless of whether its right or wrong.
I also live in a town and country where I’m less likely to be abused then if I was a trans queer person in a majority of other places. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but I am able to at least step outside my own door from time to time. This isn’t possible for many queer people out there.

There was one other thing I discovered, where I do get read male by friends and society (not by choice, because I less than pass, but more because I work in a masculine environment and have paper work calling me Mr) I am not slut shamed for my public non monogamy. I am not told to my face that being in a relationship with 2 people is wrong, and in fact people often want to talk to me about it. I’m not called a slut or a whore, I’m not told that I need to choose which partner and I am often praised for being “brave” to discuss my relationships and display them so openly. And this is because I’m seen as male. White and male.
I know its tough to talk about your own privileges and as white people we get defensive over this. We need to be honest and take good looks in the mirror and realised that we get away with far more than any person of colour , and especially much more than queer people of colour. We need to start creating honest dialogue and start realising that we not only need to educate other people on privilege but we need to educate ourselves too.

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