I’m delaying a few pre planned posts to talk about the events that took place in Orlando. Sorry if anyone has cone for reviews, ect. They will be done at a later date I promise. As you can probably guess this post will mention violence in the LGBT+ community.
CN – This post contains discussion on racism, racist language, racist behaviour and mentions violent treatment towards people of colour.
I was given two options for today and I couldn’t pick between either one of them, so I decided to go for both.
Colours mean a lot to me. I picture the two flags that symbolise my identity as a person. The two flags colours are blue, pink and purple / blue, pink and white. The first one is the bisexual flag, the second is the transgender flag.
I use these flags and not the generic rainbow flag because of its representation it now has. The rainbow flag to me is about the cis lesbian and gay community. Something that I am neither. I hold my trans status with pride because I have fought battles with my own gender and overcome them. I hold the bisexual flag close to me because I love people regardless of gender or genitals.
Colours show me what people have to overcome for equality, be it people of colour who get mistreated by our white culture. Black power still gets labeled as a hate group to this day, even though what they protest is justifiable. All black lives matter keeps getting white washed on the internet and as for queer POC accurately represented in the media, forget it. People of colour are still getting murdered for being who they are, and it needs to stop. Right fucking now!
When I think of candles, I think of the people we have lost. Our loved ones that are no longer a part of us anymore. At the last transgender day of remembrence we lit a candle for every person who had died that year. The amount of people of colour that had been murdered was fucking disgusting. Each year the number seems to get higher and higher, it needs to stop. The murder of trans women of colour needs to stop. Everything needs to stop.
Candles also remind me of my birthday, and this month I turn 29 which is a huge thing for me. Considering my life I always thought I would be dead by now. With each year passed I am thankful that depression hasn’t destroyed me.
Finally candles remind me of my mum because she’s do obsessed with them, they always remind me of being at home with her, liking all the different smells and colours. She normally has about 20 different ones around the house at a time. My favourites are always the Christmas cinnamon smelling ones, because they always smell so good.
Thank you so much for reading my blog post. What does Colour / Candles make you think of? I would love to hear from you.
Tomorrow is D. I look forward to letting you read the next post.
Yesterday I spoke with a wonderful person at The Marlborough, and we were discussing how people need to accept their privileges in order to understand how other people do suffer. And it got me thinking about my own.
I know I’m white, and this means that I’m less likely to be attacked by strangers, less likely for me to be abused because I’m queer and my opinion is more likely to be listened to and treated with respect. THIS I WAS TOTALLY AWARE OF. We live in a shit world that because of a persons colour they will be treated differently and white people will always have the final say, regardless of whether its right or wrong.
I also live in a town and country where I’m less likely to be abused then if I was a trans queer person in a majority of other places. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, but I am able to at least step outside my own door from time to time. This isn’t possible for many queer people out there.
There was one other thing I discovered, where I do get read male by friends and society (not by choice, because I less than pass, but more because I work in a masculine environment and have paper work calling me Mr) I am not slut shamed for my public non monogamy. I am not told to my face that being in a relationship with 2 people is wrong, and in fact people often want to talk to me about it. I’m not called a slut or a whore, I’m not told that I need to choose which partner and I am often praised for being “brave” to discuss my relationships and display them so openly. And this is because I’m seen as male. White and male.
I know its tough to talk about your own privileges and as white people we get defensive over this. We need to be honest and take good looks in the mirror and realised that we get away with far more than any person of colour , and especially much more than queer people of colour. We need to start creating honest dialogue and start realising that we not only need to educate other people on privilege but we need to educate ourselves too.
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