The notes for this word were that they wanted to hear from the sass queen herself. So, by the powers of the internet I’ve got my mum to answer some questions people wanted to ask her. Because I asked the same group that gave me the words for the challenge, some of the questions were too inappropriate to put on here and there just wasn’t enough time to have them all. So sorry if your questions didn’t make the cut. But I will try and convince mum to do this again. So without further introduction, here is my mum answering questions.
Them owls though. Like, how many do you have? And to make this a compound question… Do you have a favourite owl?
So far we have 2 owls, one barn owl, one snowy. A rooster and a crow called Russell. Bob is my favourite owl.
Whats your favorite color?
my brother alerts mum that its a shade and not a colour
I don’t give a shit. Black.
What’s the most embarrassing story you have about Tyler?
I can’t think of anything that’s embarrassing, yeah amusing but not embarrassing . I don’t think anyone’s going to believe that , but that’s how it is. Though you could explain to people the story of people thinking we were lesbians in the toilet that time.
Ok so this story goes as followed, when I was 15 I ended up in hospital after an overdose. Whilst we were waiting to be seen by the doctor, I needed a piss and mum had to take me to the toilet. Now my mum also needed to go, so we ended up taking a while. When we both left, a man looked at us and said
“Filthy lesbians, they are even doing it in the hospital”
My mum just looked at him deadpan and replied
“Thanks but that’s my child you are talking about” And we just walked away laughing at how ignorant this twat was.
If Joe has 4 apples and Jack has 5,764 apples, will Joe get away with murder because Jack is a hoarding bastard who can’t share?
Mum laughs Yes.
Tyler’s mum, what’s one of your favorite meals?
Some form of pasta I suppose. I dunno what is my favourite meal? Ok forget that, its got to be pork. Roast dinner.
If you could be in the form of any species of dog, what would you be?
Rottwiller and I can bite the shit out of people, or a Jack Russell and bite the shit out of people and get away with it.
What are your thoughts on the Daddy kink?
Mum asked at this point what a daddy kink was, so I had to explain it to her.
Nah that’s a bit pervy. In fact I wouldn’t want anyone to remind me of my dad.
Tyler: How many people have you been with?
Tylers mum: how many people do you think they have slept with?
I don’t know, its more than double digits anyway, its probably in the triple digits! Is it in the triple digits? I’m sure its not in the quadruple digits. I don’t know. Over 50
I then tell my mum that I stopped counting at 200
Well I did say over 50
Have you ever watched any shock videos like 2girls1cup?
No but I’ve seen similar, not for anything sexual. I’m just a curious person.
Have you ever caught in the act of being with someone?
Yeah!!! Its a bugger when you don’t have curtains in a car.
I’m not even going to lie, I died a little inside when mum said that. I hope you are proud of yourselves internet people
Does size matter?
Depends what we are talking about. If its car yeah, anything else yeah.
Whats your favorite sex position and why?
I don’t have a favourite but I like the surprise
When did you lose your virginity?
I was 17. I was quite impressed William makes a grossed out face Your impressed with that too.
Do you prefer anal or oral?
How many people have you slept with?
Probably about ten, I’m just in double figures
Do you have any regrets ?
No. Because it wouldn’t lead to what I have now, however I regret stuff I haven’t done.
What’s it like having a child that’s trans?
I have 3 children, one of each. Honestly it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Thank you for reading this post. Tomorrow is N for Nature. Keep a look out for it. Please feel free to share and comment.