Most of the time when you see people mention about being trans (especially in the media) they are often in their teens, white, able bodied and often have a planned out set idea of what transition means to them and a goal plan set into motion. Surprisingly, in the real world and especially not online, this is not the case. Whilst white, I can certainly put to bed the suggestion as I started transition after my teenage years and I’m certainly not able bodied.
People are coming out in their later years more and more and this is bucking the trend of assumption that everyone has to be young to be trans. But why is this the case?
There are many reasons why people are coming out later and later but the truth of the matter is that we are having more of an open dialog of gender and sexuality and it is feeling like it is safer to be LGBT then it did many years ago. There is more access to medical care these days and we have so many resources at our finger tips.
It is becoming common for trans people to start transition in their 30s 40s and 50s now and this is because people have finally learned that they are not the only ones who are feeling the way that they do. That its OK to be who you are and you are not alone. Gender and sexuality has become a hot topic and it has saved lives.
If you you have started your transition later, please feel free to comment as to why you started when you did, we would love to hear from you
It has been pretty fashionable the past 12 months or so to include transgender issues in the media. I don’t know about you, but personally I’m getting bored of it. Before the gates of hell open up and swallow me hole for saying such a terrible thing, I would like to explain why.
Firstly, its not just the TV or the latest buzzfeed article that goes on about transgender issues. Often there are articles talking about how “hot” passing trans people are or some petty cis parent “worried” about the corruption of their child because trans kids are in schools.
You see, whilst some things can be very productive and informative, often the posts and videos that get posted are often to cause a reaction to non trans folk or littered with inaccuracies because no actual research has been done. They often push surgeries, hormones and binary treatment as if its just the one path everyone takes. Also because of Caitlin Jenner everyone thinks the transformation is really quick and that we shouldn’t be so stressed out about how long it actually takes to “fully transition”. You never get told in the media that you are looking at about 10 years from start to finish, and that’s if you are a open and shut typical case. You never get told that you see about a million different doctors even before you get a chance to be on hormones alone. You also never get told properly about non binary people existing, or that gender isn’t just solely one thing that’s either masculine or feminine. We are often pressured to even hate parts of our body that we didn’t even hate before.
The bathroom posts, whilst helpful are also a hindrance too.
The thing is MOST pieces that hit mainstream media haven’t even been written by trans or non binary people. Media only wants to talk about either the bathroom issues or what genital surgery is like. There is nothing about what WE actually want. And god forbid that you bring up trans people who choose to not or cannot pass. We are constantly told that our worth is based solely on how well we present as the gender we are or how far along on our transition we are. All the bathroom “photo protests” are mainly with people who pass so well, they wouldn’t even be “questioned” in the first place.
The people the bathroom bills affect are the trans people that do not pass. It mainly affects trans women too. People are protesting about “how men shouldn’t be in the women’s toilets” and trust me, those people do not even think that there are female assigned at birth trans people. In fact anti trans protesters have openly said that “women in men’s bathrooms” is entirely different because there is no threat. Its bullshit, but guys we need to start fighting for the women who need us to fight now. Us walking into women’s bathrooms in protest is not helping the cause, its only making it worse.
I am at a point of privilege, whilst I’m not passing all the time, I get treated with male privilege often, regardless of my gender identity. I am also white and whilst I am not physically able and have disabilities, I am still given platforms in order to talk, and be listened to. I however am still trans and I still get discriminated on a weekly basis and constantly questioned about my genitals. I admin online in quite a cis white dominated environment and when I joined I was the first openly queer person working with “The neckbeards” It hasn’t run smoothly in the slightest and negative attention has been given to myself and one of my partners because of this. So you can imagine how bored you must get when the media goes on about trans issues when you yourself are on social media very publicly.
I’m not saying that all the media coverage needs to stop, I’m just saying that if trans issues are going to be blasted all over the planet, at least let it get written by trans people please.
I was given two options for today and I couldn’t pick between either one of them, so I decided to go for both.
Colours mean a lot to me. I picture the two flags that symbolise my identity as a person. The two flags colours are blue, pink and purple / blue, pink and white. The first one is the bisexual flag, the second is the transgender flag.
Please reverse google image search for original artist. I couldn't find them and i would love to credit them.
I use these flags and not the generic rainbow flag because of its representation it now has. The rainbow flag to me is about the cis lesbian and gay community. Something that I am neither. I hold my trans status with pride because I have fought battles with my own gender and overcome them. I hold the bisexual flag close to me because I love people regardless of gender or genitals.
Colours show me what people have to overcome for equality, be it people of colour who get mistreated by our white culture. Black power still gets labeled as a hate group to this day, even though what they protest is justifiable. All black lives matter keeps getting white washed on the internet and as for queer POC accurately represented in the media, forget it. People of colour are still getting murdered for being who they are, and it needs to stop. Right fucking now!
When I think of candles, I think of the people we have lost. Our loved ones that are no longer a part of us anymore. At the last transgender day of remembrence we lit a candle for every person who had died that year. The amount of people of colour that had been murdered was fucking disgusting. Each year the number seems to get higher and higher, it needs to stop. The murder of trans women of colour needs to stop. Everything needs to stop.
Candles also remind me of my birthday, and this month I turn 29 which is a huge thing for me. Considering my life I always thought I would be dead by now. With each year passed I am thankful that depression hasn’t destroyed me.
Finally candles remind me of my mum because she’s do obsessed with them, they always remind me of being at home with her, liking all the different smells and colours. She normally has about 20 different ones around the house at a time. My favourites are always the Christmas cinnamon smelling ones, because they always smell so good.
Thank you so much for reading my blog post. What does Colour / Candles make you think of? I would love to hear from you.
Tomorrow is D. I look forward to letting you read the next post.
To ccelebrate trans day of visibility, here are some images that the makers of these have asked to be posted round as much as possible. Please share these images and get trans visibility out there. Thank you