What Poly Is To Me.

I’ve said in my blog several times about how I’m poly and about both of my current partners (who are also poly) but I haven’t exactly gone into it in great detail. So I thought it was about time that I did.

For me, being poly is about being honest about feelings and communication. Now, I totally understand from the start that there are people who function on being monogamous, and I applaud you. I however am not one of those people, and I do not expect my lovers to be any different. You see for me, life is like a box of Krispy Kremes. They all look so amazing, taste great and smell so good. Why would you commit solely to just one flavour. I just can’t. I need to try them all to see what I like.
Now for some, I know that’s a terrible analogy, and I agree. There are many MANY ways of being poly. I however choose the “relationship anarchist” route. I don’t base my relationships on my own structure or rules, I work with everyone else and make sure they are happy with it. I understand that with different relationships come with different needs and wants and I respect that.

I know the big questions you are asking about, mainly centres around jealousy. And I will answer that now. Anyone who says that they are not jealous , about 80% of the time us lying. Its a perfectly normal and healthy reaction to have. I never expect anyone not to be jealous, however what i expect is communication and talking, because I can then work on my own behaviour to resolve any issues a partner may face.
I also understand that time and time sharing can be a huge issue sometimes, and I do try and share out my time as fairly as possible. I understand that sometimes that I fuck up pretty badly, but I try and rectify it as best as I can. Next year I’m going to just get Calender’s and stick them everywhere.
I also understand that some partners might have different needs to others and I respect that. I am also fully aware that not all of my relationships would/will be sexual and that’s something I am also fine with, because I believe that intimacy isn’t solely based on sexual activity. I am also aware that I cannot perform a lot of requirements sometimes needed as a boyfriend, and I am more than happy for my partners to have other partners. 

I suppose this post was based on my views on my relationship/s and I know that my views are not the same as other peoples. I just thought it would be nice to show an insight as to how my head works with it

Thank you for reading. Are you poly? How do you deal with your relationships? Get in touch 🙂

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Recent Struggles With My Inner Demons

Recently I have been struggling. I don’t know what it us with the summer but it always gives me the blues.
I think that recently I have noticed that a few of my friends (who are also trans) have been going further on there route to becoming happier within themselves then I have. I know that its a bloody awful waiting system at gender clinics and that my case isn’t a open and shut case , but I’ve just finished another summer stuck in a fucking binder that causes me to over heat. All I want to do is be like every other man out there and be shirtless, and not be stuck with these huge boobs. It depresses me that I have to wear clothes that hide my figure, otherwise I’m called “she” the whole time.
I think I’m finding especially hard because Kai had his chest surgery last year, and he had been a million times happier. He is developing into a hairy happy human, and yes that makes me happy but sometimes it feels really depressing, because I want to also feel like that. I hate being jealous over my own partner, but that’s what it is. I’m jealous that he’s not got what I want to remove.
I think its because I’ve been thinking lots about gender, and gender perception. I have always been taught that its not what you wear or what your body shape is, you are who you are. But who am I? I know I’m Tyler, I’m on the non binary trans masculine side of life, but what else am I ?
I know that in the autumn months I find things easier because I’m not hot all the time and that I can wear layers without dying of heat exhaustion. That and well autumn is the best season.