I am often accused of being too angry about the LGBT community and whilst I can say I’ve been passionate and at times a little sweary, there is actual reasons as to why it makes me so angry. I’m Queer, Trans and bisexual. I can also tell you that most of the issues I’ve ever had regarding my own sexuality or gender identity have been from the lesbian and gay community.
This community told us last year that “the war was won” in equality and that we can celebrate by marrying who we choose. This statement WIPED OUT all the struggles and fights the trans community are still going through and brushed under the carpet everything else that still goes on.
So whilst we are thinking about ONE victory in equality, let’s take a look at the others we should be addressing.
1) Do you like mentioning how you fuck to a therapist? Do you think your relationship to your mother and father impacted on your gender and sexuality? Do you think that you being a cis person is just temporary and that you will grow out of it?
Awkward questions aren’t they? So whilst you were thinking about what “equal” marriage would look like, 100s of trans people were treated with zero respect with outdated text book “psychology” which is being used still even as I write this.
I’ve tried asking these questions to non trans people and I’ve been told to mind my own fucking business. So why is it OK to ask a trans person this?
2) Guess what? Without a GRC, trans people in the UK people cannot get married in their legal gender without having to either get a pagan hand fasting or go to specific places of faith that are LGBT friendly. So if someone has been out for 10 years, gone though treatment, has Mr on all of their legal records and documents, but didn’t pay the fee to have a board of lawyers tell you that you are “man enough” , You can expect Mrs to be written on that marriage certificate. A GRC isn’t compulsory to own, it essentially erases the need for a birth certificate and that is it. So why is it essential if you want to get married? Doesn’t seem equal to me.
3) Actually whilst we are on the whole marriage certificate, its not gender neutral. Considering it’s meant to be equal marriage, non binary identified people cannot use Mx or other neutral titles. Its either male or female. Also what about intersex people? Where would they fit in with “marriage equality”
4) GRCs. Gender recognition certificate to be precise. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, ITS NOT A LEGAL REQUIREMENT. You do not need to own one to be legally recognised anywhere as the gender you identify as. But if you do want/need one. Do you think a board of cis lawyers should be able to determine something they themselves have no “real life experience” with. Even Drs at gender clinics find the system so problematic its unreal.
4) Have you felt the threat of physical violence whilst you have been trying to take a piss? If the answer is no, then good for you. This is a challenge trans people (mostly trans women) face day to day in public bathroom. They are faced with abuse, ridicule, violence and rape on a daily basis. And for what? To take a piss? Surely this is just as important as deciding how many tiers a wedding cake must be.
5) TRANS PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING FUCKING MURDERED JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS. I honestly hope I don’t need to explain to anyone why this is so fucking important.
But its only trans and non binary issues that are still going on, I hear you cry. No. Let’s throw a few other things out there.
*Bisexuals are more likely to face discrimination then Lesbian and Gay people. They experience abuse from outside the community as well as inside, and are often told that their sexuality isn’t legitimate.
*There are more bisexual people living in poverty then there are Lesbian or Gay people.
*Asexuals are erased often in the LGBTQA acronym. A means Asexual and not Allies. Please don’t erase asexuals just for you to say that our straight allies can come along for the ride.
*Bisexuals are more likely to experience suicidal thoughts, self harm and drug and alcohol problems.
*Racism happens in the community, and people of colour who are LGBTQA suffer not only just with straight people, but with the gay scene. Have you ever been on Grindr? Its horrible and needs to be addressed.
*Intersectionality is also a thing that needs to be addressed. Its assumed that people fit in only one box, and other issues such as disabilities and illnesses never get addressed.
There are many MANY other things that could be included, but we would be here for a very long time.
Look I’m not saying to hate the fact we have “equal” marriage, I am just saying that the war is not over yet. We need equality for all, not just a select few.