S – Sex

The comment on this is “Awkward sex stories are the best”, so I assume that’s what the person who chose this wants to hear. Ok, let’s mention a couple of stories and points that have made sex uncomfortable or awkward.
1. I once did it in a club on stage with my partner at the time, there was a good couple of hundred people there. It wasn’t a sex club and it was pretty obvious we were fucking. We got kicked out of the club not because we fucked on stage but we tried to have round two in the toilets.
2. I’ve seen an ex partners parents collection of home photos they have taken of themselves whilst they were doing it. That made dinners with them very awkward.
3. I’ve had to go to hospital for a couple of sexual injuries. The worst being that the batteries from my vibrator exploded and leaked, and I got battery acid burns where you shouldn’t EVER get battery acid.
4. Got caught by a priest fucking in a church. I’m sorry. I’m very very sorry.
5. I suffer from sexomnia which means I tend to do sexual stuff in my sleep. This may sound funny, but I cannot share a bed with anyone unless they are fully aware that this happens and is beyond my control. It has ruined a good few friendships sadly

Tomorrow is T – Terror

Ten things I’m thankful for – 4

This fortnight I’m up at my mums and my blogging will be possibly sporadic and infrequent. However I’m going to try and fit in the 10 things I’m thankful for this week. Remember, the best way to move forward, is to appreciate what has already happened. So without any more hesitation, I shall start

1) Music.  Its an amazing way to escape from a shitty situation without going too far. There are millions of styles and artists out there and they all tell different stories.

2) Facebook groups. Without some of these groups I wouldn’t have seen a lot of content I adore , as well as finding some new viewers to my blog. Hello new followers.

3) P0j0. I think this is the second time you have made it into my top ten, but I couldn’t not put you in it after the whole roast dinner / roasting fiasco. Thank you for making me properly laugh for the first time in a few weeks. For the record , roast dinners are bae.

4) Alfredo. Thank you for proving that roasted foods are utterly amazing, by sending pictures of food porn. Also your majestic beard makes me happy every time I see it dude.

5) Mumma. Aka – The birthing Ship. You pushed out three kids and all of them are fucking insane. Statistically that is some pretty good odds, but you haven’t had it easy with us all. Thank you for being there for us, and the animals we have acuminated over the years.

6) Kai and Steph. Yet again they have been amazing rocks in my life. I know that things are shitty for both of them right now, but I love them both so dearly.

7) My phone. Again, this helps me communicate with the outside world so much easier. And I can do my blog posts with ease.

8) Comedy shows. I have needed a laugh recently and they have helped some what. Thank you comedy writers for not making me feel sad.

9) Friends. Again, thank you to everyone that has been so supportive recently. I know I’m not the greatest person to put up with at times, and I can be frustrating, and I’m sorry for that. 

10) Animals. They are probably the best things to be around when you are sad. Be it, feathery, furry or scaly. I love them.

Posted from WordPress for Android

FYIYT – Tyler

So this week I was a total idiot, and totally didn’t have time to arrange an interview with someone. My brain has been over the place lately and I have failed to do the most basic of tasks, mainly communicate with the outside world. A good friend said that I should just do me, but get random people in groups to ask me questions. And that’s what exactly I have done. I would like to say thank you to P0j0 for having the group in the first place, and introducing me to some wonderful people. If you do not know him, I probably could list a few face book pages (links just below) he runs and you will know them. He also has a tumblr

*homos, heteros, and a whole lot more
*disappointing popsicle jokes
* the best of tumblr
* government secrets
* old school cartoons
* just another meme in the feed

Thank you to everyone who sent me a question, I don’t think I left out any of them. If you are one of those people who did help towards this post. Feel free to submit anything for future Friday posts. It can be a drawing, picture, poem, interview, anything. Fridays are always for guests.
These questions are entirely random. They may have no relevance to a lot of people, unless they know other people/ inside jokes/ situations. So I apologise in advance, this nay just seem like a whole bunch of muttering.
I don’t think there is anything that I need to content warn, but just in case, I do mention about coming out, views on the monarchy, an appreciation of a great beard, and I believe there is some swearing in this.

what’s the hardest choice you’ve ever had to make? Hardest thing you have ever done?

Honestly, finally coming out as trans for the second time. I tried once when I was 14 and was told that I might as well be a lesbian, because no one would ever cone near me. In all honestly, it didn’t help that at the time I was “confused” about my sexual identity also. Being bisexual just wasn’t a thing, you were either gay or straight. I quickly went back in the closet, because it was too much to handle.
I came out again 11 years later, and this time I didn’t back down. I lost a fair few things in my life, friends, a marriage, ect. But what I gained from it was a new life, a sense of being, I could finally be the person I had been trying to hide away from since as early as I could remember. Probably getting rid of my father was probably up there too. I mean initially I wanted to give him the chance to be in my life but he pissed it up the wall. No matter how much someone let’s you down, it still hurts. Once I cut him out of my life though, everything was so much better. I realised that I didn’t need him. I was better without him, and in all honestly my mum has been more of a father figure then he ever will.

If a rapper was to compose the soundtrack/score for what will be a great sequel to one of your favourite movies.
What rapper would it be, and for what movie sequel?

One of my favourite films is “Sid n Nancy” now, in order for this to work, we would have to erase the fact that it was a true story about the punk bassist of the sex pistols, who killed himself after killing his girlfriend. So he’s still alive. She’s still alive. Secondly, we would have to make a leap from 70s anarchist punk, to rap. Though both to share the same ideals, and same back stories. So I would probably have the sequel based pretty close to where it ended, and pick it up in the 80s. So for rappers, I would probably chose NWA, Run DMC, Public Enemy.

If you were chosen by The UK Dream Team ™ to create and present an argument for a nation to re-join our glorious empire, how would it go? 

I wouldn’t, honestly we are at a state now where we shouldn’t add any more countries to us. In fact we should just admit that the whole empire is based entirely on slavery, and rather than the glorified “commonwealth” that its called. We should make appropriate action where countries could live independently without fear.

If The Queen released a speech detailing her plans to take back the empire, do you trust the UK Dream Team™ in fulfilling this promise?

I would hope that the dream team would let the queen sink under her own ship. There is no need to re create an empire.

What is your favoured political party?

Green, sorry but they are the closest in what I believe in.

Do you believe that we should continue having a monarchy?

Honestly no, there is no need for a family to be paraded around at tax payers expense. Yes the do some charity work, but the money used to keep them happy, could go straight back into communities that need it.

Do you prefer scones or biscuits with your tea?

Depends on the weather. Hot day, scones, with Jam, and cream.

Please describe in detail what you would do with Alfredo Ramos if you had him to yourself for an entire weekend.

Joe, why must you do this to me!!!
OK, so its been public knowledge since forever that I feel things for this man. His beard makes me tingle in ways, no other beard would.  It depends where we were, cause if we were in america, we would probably road trip trying to find the perfect hot dog venue. Eat said hot dogs then probably sit and watch Netflix, chill and probably play mortal kombat.
However if Freddy was to come to the UK, him and I have plans that no one except Kai knows about. The trips already planned.

Tesco, ASDA, Morrison’s, Waitrose (HAHA) or Sainsbury’s?

Morrison’s, because they are actually pretty good, though I live right near a co-op and a tesco.

Please describe Texas from your British point of view.

Big hats, electric chairs, 70% desert. Has some guy called Joe living there. Backwards law system, terrible medical care, and the bush’s live there.

How do you say scones?

S-cone

If you could have any one thing in the world, but at the cost of your S/O’s life, what would it be?

Probably it would have to be a cure for cancer. Something on that level. If I can’t have any of my partners because of this choice, It would have to be something as big as that. 

Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

The one person I trust the most. Love is easier to gain back more than trust, and it takes me a very long time to trust someone.

If we have an eternity of non-existence before us, and an eternity of non-existence awaiting us, why do we exist?

How do we know we exist? For all we know we could be a part of someone’s story, or someone’s imagination. I don’t think there is ever a way to determine life itself. We are born, we  pay taxes, we die. The three things that will happen to everyone. Anything else is a bonus. 

Have you ever thought about me in a sexual manner?

No Joe, im sorry to bust your bubble, but you do not have the bearded goodness I require in a sexual fantasy. Also I heard you like Hondas and that’s a massive turn off.

Would you rather:
Nigel Farage,
or
Nichola Sturgeon.

NICHOLA !!!

****Next week should be back to normal. If you have anything you would like to submit for the FYIYT Fridays. Please give me a message 🙂 ****