Before I start this post. This is not an information piece to be used as leverage against trans people. This is not a blog that agrees with the views of TERFs and it certainly isn’t to push any right wing agenda. This post is to actually bring forth a serious conversation that is scary to talk about but as a trans person it has been something that has come up in my personal life. It’s surprising that I have to actually say that at the beginning of a post, but the moment you mention the word detransition there is a huge panic by the trans community and glee from our oppressors.
Statistically there are so few real cases of people who detransition that there isn’t any direct path way for those who do decide to. You may see a small handful of posts online and a friend might consider it but there actually isn’t this huge collection of trans people out there that do regret transitioning.
But why do people decide to detransition?
There are many factors as to why this is possible. Gender being fluid, feeling worse than what they felt like originally, no money, no support, feeling like they have no ability to “pass” as the gender they are, medical complications… In all honesty there are many MANY reasons why a person would feel like they need to detransition. Very rarely it has anything to do with regret and even rarer has it been because someone has not known what they are doing and have been rushed into it by doctors. This is often though what the media and what the people who oppose trans rights would have you believe. That people are being forced to medically transition without the knowledge and understanding and regretting it later. Trust me, the average time it takes for someone to transition is 10 years. This is the basic pathway and not including extra steps and other pathways you can choose. This all starts off with about a year waiting for your very first gender clinic appointment, seeing counsellors, doctors and therapists before hormones and surgery are even considered. People who do transition are 99% fully aware of what is involved and there is no coercion or forced gender change, so we can put all those ideas to bed now.
Why is it not talked about though?
Because honestly we are scared of this conversation. We are scared that it makes us look bad. For fuck sake I needed to put a disclaimer at the beginning of this because when someone feels they need to detransition, the right wing shit bags and TERFs rub their hands together like they are winning a fight. No you are not winning a fight, it’s just some people do not have the strength to continue and that’s fucking OK.
I’ve been honest before and said that if I had known now what I do about my physical health, I may have partially detransitioned. I wouldn’t have put myself in a situation where a medical menopause affected me that badly. I am slowly getting through it, and what happened to me was so fucking rare it hasn’t even been a thing discussed till recently, but I may have not gone on T. I had until recently not wanted to talk about it because so many people are scared of the idea of people wanting to detransition.
I think it’s time to open a dialogue, a safe one. One that’s only done with trans people and work out how we can protect those who think this needs to be an option for them