5 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Bisexual People

You know by now that once you come out as bisexual you will often get some of the most stupidest questions and statements given to you. Some are just people curious and not knowing better. Some are just people being dicks. However today we are going through these statements. I did a post very similar in previous months, but over time biphobia has been getting steadily worse for some.

1) All the bi people I know have a preferred gender, no one likes men and women equally?!.

Well for starters how many bisexual people have you questioned. Whilst there are some bisexual people have a preference, many do not. This comment also erases non binary identified people. There are many bisexual people who are attracted to non binary people. Bisexual means that you like 2 or more genders, it doesn’t say that you can only like one more or that you have to like everyone. Being bisexual is different for everyone. 

2) I’ve never met a bisexual person willing to date a trans person.

Just like the first point, how many people were actually asked? Both my partners are trans. Actually both my partners are also non binary. As a trans person this frustrates me because it tells us that we are unlovable. That no bi people would ever date someone who has to live with gender dysphoria which is total bullshit. There are many bi people in relationships with trans and/or non binary people and this needs to be validated more. 

3) You grow out of it eventually/ Its a stepping stone to being gay or straight. 

Some bisexual people have and will come out as monosexual and that’s ok but its not that common. Telling someone that they will grow out of liking more than one gender or will become gay later down the line erases their own identity. It is not a stepping stone for most bi people and its not us trying to be cool or trying to work out what in 20 years time what we “truly want”

4) Can you have a threesome with my partner and I?

This is mainly aimed at women who come out as bisexual, though it does happen to other gendered people too. Just because someone is bisexual doesn’t mean they are going to want to sleep with everyone and to assume so is gross. Do not try and force sex on someone because they are bisexual. Don’t force sex full stop actually. Not all bisexual people are into you, take your over inflated ego and FUCK OFF!!! 

5) You are just greedy/slutty/untrustworthy.

Look just because someone is attracted to more than one gender doesn’t mean they are going to have sex with everyone (see point 4). It doesn’t mean that they are more or less able to cheat on someone, it doesn’t mean that they are all not going to be monogamous and it doesn’t mean you should be trusting them any less then anyone else. If you say this, you genuinely do not deserve to have bi friends. 
Mono people. If you really want to make conversation with bisexual people. Start by saying hi. If you feel that a persons sexuality needs to be discussed remember its none of your fucking business really unless you are dating them and treat bisexual people with respect. 
Thank you. Remember that international bisexual day is 23rd September ❤

Bisexuality – Why Not Both (Or All In My Case)

“So are you gay or straight?” Words uttered to me on what would seem like a daily basis to me. “Do you prefer men or women?” Like there is no other choice in this world (and erasing non binary identities at the same time) “No one really is bi, they just haven’t decided yet?!” Because I’m forced to decide where I need to be on the great sexuality spectrum. 

Christopher Biggins has finally pointed out the great elephant in the room. Gay men can be just as biphobic and queerphobic as straight people can be. For years we have been saying that most of our abuse  actually stems from the lesbian and gay community and no one believed us till the summer of 2016 when Biggins walked into the big brother house and was vile against the bi community. For everyone who thought he was kicked out because of these comments, he wasn’t. He was kicked out for being antisemitic. Whilst I’m glad he was kicked out for it, he should have been removed days previously.

Now this isn’t just about him. The world is filled with people claiming that bisexuality isn’t real. That you can’t just love who you want to, regardless of gender presentation or connection. We are only “legitimate” in prides and parades if we have someone that “appears” to be the same sex (shudders) as us. We are told that if we have a partner of a different gender that we are not part of the LGBT community.

 Guess what? What do you think the B actually stands for? Bigoted? Bullshit? No its fucking bisexual! You are still bisexual regardless of what gender your partner/s is at the time. You don’t suddenly turn straight or gay because yout partner is a different gender from the one before. I once got told to leave an LGBT service in Brighton for under 26s because I was getting married to someone of a different gender then me, and that stopped me from being bisexual. This was coming from staff and a well known gay person in Brighton who has been on TV and ironicly tried to also go on Big Brother. This is also the same man who believes pride is only for gay people. 

People wonder why Bicon exists every year. Its simple, if you get abuse from all directions, you want to have your own safe space forged out for you. Prides do nothing to help bi people, straight people think bisexuals are slutty and were stuck in the middle wanting to just have fun and party with the rest of the queer people. Accessibility to queer events is shit at the best of times, but if you are treated like shit because of your sexuality, of course no one wants to attend. Here’s a tip, if bi people keep asking you to have meetings to talk about how accessible they can be, actually fucking listen. 

For once people need to stop thinking that LGBT is for monosexuality and money. Queer people are broke, mental health problems are common in the bisexual community and access to services are piss poor because of either assumption on sexual activity or people are refused because they are not straight/gay. 

Basically everyone needs to stop being a dick and remember that the B is in LGBT for a reason. 

IDAHOBIT – International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia 2016

Thank you to whoever made this.

Today is International day against homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. Today we are reminded that there are so many countries that still have no laws that protect the lives of of LGBT people and some counties that still use the death penalty on “criminals” who’s only crime are loving someone.
We are constantly told that its not our problem because we live in countries that treat LGBT people with respect. This is untrue. Its everyone’s problem.
Recently even in the city of Brighton there has been a string of homophobic assaults only recently and its never mentioned but transphobia in the city is rife.
The unjust bathroom laws are still happening in places in America and guess what, in some states you can be fired still if people think you are gay. Being given same sex marriage never stopped the fight we still have to fight every day.
Whilst things are getting better, it is still hard being LGBT in this world. There are still many fights we still need to battle and we need to take each little victory where we can grab it.