So this year, at the beginning of August marked 5 years of me officially coming out as trans.
5 fucking years this has been going on for and whilst I have found this a wonderful journey, it is something that I would not wish upon anyone. Yes I am happy, yes this is what I have always wanted but the confusion, the physical endurance, the surgery panic and a loss of friends has taken it’s toll on me.
I still have my hysterectomy to be booked and sorted but that’s officially it for me. Having top surgery and a wonderful consultation with the amazing Dr Lorrimer also managed to clear my head in regards to my own gender identity and I came out as Agender earlier in the year. I also came out as gay also, as I realised that me being bisexual just didn’t fit anymore. I’m attracted to masculine folk and I’m masc/andro presenting and masc/andro gender identified so gay is in all honestly how I see myself.
Hormones have been still the burden of my life, I still do find them a bit of a drain but I’m doing much better than I was. On a scale, I’m about 4/5 of the way through puberty and my skin has cleared up at least, but losing my hair has been quite upsetting.
Top surgery was this year though, and that was good. I decided not to bother with getting my nipples tattooed in the end, but it means I don’t have to worry so much about getting my chest tattooed. I will be probably having a revision as one side is slightly wonky, but the results past that have been AMAZING. I couldn’t have asked for more to be honest.
I look forward to the final changes that I do have in myself, and that I hope that one day I can grow a reasonable beard.
Till then I’ve just got these facepubes to contend with. At least it’s something though.
As the years progress I hope I finally find peace with my ever changing, constant breaking body, and next year I hope that my medical transition is complete.
Every year I do the whole “look at what changes have happened” round about the same time. The 12th marked 3 years of me being on hormone replacement therapy, so let’s have a catch up on what has happened in the past 12 months regarding my transition
Well after the bullshit funding rejection, Charring Cross signed me off for top surgery. I need to contact the surgeon team to book an appointment. I have taken a little time off my transition because of other things that have been very important in my life.
I got a lower surgery consultation, it was good but the doctor was really shit with me. He only gave me 10 mins for the whole session.
My hair is at the last few months now of keeping it. Soon it will be too patchy and I will have to shave it off.
Beard hair is FINALLY coming through.
Acne is still there and still painful.
To be honest, these past 12 months have been really quiet in regards to my transition. Hopefully in the next year I get to report that I have had at least top surgery.
The other week (sorry about delay in posts) was Steph and I’s anniversary and we decided to go to London for the day. It was amazing. We went to the national portrait gallery and tried to go to the science museum but it was so busy and loud so instead we went to the butterfly house by the natural history museum.
We also went to wagamamas and because of some dickhead waitress giving us problems, we ended up getting our entire meal for free thanks to the manager who refused to take her shit.
Its wonderful being able to spend time with Steph, because at the moment we are both so busy with the run up to trans pride that we have no time to do anything.
Anyway, have some photos that I took of the day.
At the end of this month , it’s officially one year of having this blog. In a year I have pissed off more people then I ever thought possible. Written more stuff then I ever have and dedicated myself to a single project for the longest period of time I know. Also I have also got my 100th follower.
This year has been a rollercoaster of a ride for myself, my family and loved ones, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking by me. Thank you family for having to deal with the fact I talk about sex and genitals and Thank you to Kai and Steph for both being such wonderful partners. I am blessed to have you I’ve had peers come up to me and tell me how they read this. I’m still blown away that I’ve been thanked for even saying stuff so openly.
The truth has been however that I started this blog because medication was failing me, and I needed a way to get out all my pent up feelings before I attempted suicide. I never expected it to blow up the way it did l, thanks to a certain post I posted in August.
I’m also reaching people further then I ever imagined and thanks to the huge growth of our Facebook page “Homos, Heteros and a whole lot more”, I’m reaching 1000s of people on great days.
Whilst I am here, I would like to take this moment to thank P0j0 for having more patience for me then most people could imagine. Outside the hard external shell is a fucking caring human being. He’s dealt with me from the very start, even has put up with my bullshit when I’ve been mentally unstable (or doped up on painkillers, I start arguing over civil freedoms with an American). He is such a genuine guy and will be there for you regardless how often you fuck up. If he gives you advice, you fucking take it kids. This man has took meunder his wing and taught me more than I thought I would learn. Keep being you man.
I would like to thank the WordPress app, because I wouldn’t be here without you.
Thanks to the people I’ve been angry about. Whether its big organizations or the guy who gave me dick pics, you have been a huge inspiration.
Thanks to you dirty little bastards who are googling porn and reaching my blog, just because of a few posts talking about the porn industry. I love you guys Thank you to all the internet friends I have spoken to and made throughout the past year. Thank you Shannon for the 3am chats, the blog rants and being the person I screamed to before I wrote blog posts I would regret. Thank you Olivia for being a Corgi loving babe. Both you ladies have a special place in my heart. Thank you Freddie also, you have been one of the greatest friends I could ever hope for.
Thank you to all the people who have guest posted on here, and thank you to the people who refused my dating article because it wasn’t heterosexual. It wouldn’t have pushed me harder to work on this.
And finally, thank you to the average reader, the people who come back, and the first time here. Without you, I honestly think I would have given this up. I’ve been viewed in countries I didn’t think would. I’ve been shared on Facebook and I’ve had people tweeting me. Its been a rollercoaster, and I’ve loved it.
Last week it was Kai and I’s 3 year anniversary. We decided that we would go to London, because we discovered pretty quickly the night previously that nothing is ever on in Brighton on a Monday. We got the train, which was just so packed it was stupid, and headed to London dungeon.
It was really fucking cool. What I could take part in anyway. Because of photo sensitivity and body moving, I was unable to go on some of the rides. The plus side of this was that we were able to hang out back stage and see people getting ready, which was amazing.
The bits I was able to were so cool, everything was really interactive. The staff who worked on all the acts were great, and it was really worth the money (we did two for one on the train deal).
At the end they give you a coin that you can keep or trade in at the bar for a drink in their pub.
I got the drink.
Also we each got another free drink and a tankard because it was our anniversary.
We then decided to get tickets to see a west end show. As you know I fucking hate the theatre but I agreed since Kai let me choose London Dungeon. We found a place that did discounted tickets for the day, and we managed to get two tickets for Miss Siagon for £50. And they were good seats.
After we purchased the tickets we decided to go to wagamama, which is one of my favourite food places ever. And as per usual the food was amazing
We then did a little shopping, grabbed a coffee and waited for the theatre. Now I really want to say it was crap, that I didn’t enjoy it and go on about how we wasted money seeing an entire shit show, BUT I CAN’T LIE!! It was fucking awesome to be totally honest. I really enjoyed the show. I was a little confused at first but eventually I got the story and it was great. If you get a chance, please go and see it.
We eventually got home after midnight, totally exhausted but it was a fantastic day.