Performative Bullshit

Do you know what really grinds my gears? Performative Allies. I’ve got to a point now in my life where I’m just sick and tired of having to hand hold cis people and able bodied people to just do the most basic of things and I’m tired of them needing the goddamn cookies all the time.

OK, I just want to tell you all this. EVERY TRANS PERSON IS TIRED OF HAND HOLDING CIS PEOPLE!! We may act nice and polite but that’s because we know for a fucking fact that you will throw it in our face if we show frustration. Trust me, you can Google that gender question you might have, and no we probably don’t know your friend that’s transitioning but you are misgendering them through each painful comment you are stating about them. No we don’t need you to comment about how we should be passing and no, your comments about pronouns are just not needed when they have been explained to you 50 million times. We are tired of your little micro aggressions, like telling us we will get treated better when we are nice and polite. We shouldn’t have to confirm to the ideals of passing to be treated like a human being, and stop comparing trans people to drag culture.

Like actually fucking stop that shit

I’m being fucking serious

Being at the Phillip Starr community tent and seeing the portraits of trans people working, right next to drag queens was a fine fucking example of alliship gone fucking wrong. TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT DRAG PERFORMERS. STOP PUTTING US IN THE SAME CATEGORY. You can be cis and do drag, you can be trans and do drag but they are not the same fucking thing, and to put cis drag queens next to trans women, you are (all be if unintentional) implying that their presentation is just a performance and not their actual life. It might not have been on purpose and I hope that next year more consideration towards trans people will happen.

I’m not even going to get into the disaster that was even the terrible rubber matting that was used as a “ramp” that caused injury during community day and I’m certainly not going to go into the fact that a member of the public had to assist me with the matting on the grass because IT WASN’T EVEN ACCESSIBLE. LIKE COME ON, ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIRS AND MUD DON’T MIX BUT YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. I am going to add though that apart from that , community day was amazing, if was lovely to see so many people and I really hope lunch positive got a lot of money for the work they did on that day and the prep day a few days previously.

Everyone acts like they do everything in their fucking power to help disabled people, but Brighton fucking sucks if you are disabled and honestly no one actually does make things easier for us to just get about in our day to day lives. We don’t want fucking parties run in our honour and we don’t want fucking perks. We want venues to be accessible, we want to be treated with respect and we don’t want companies saying they will help us and when the cookies dry up, you then forget that we fucking exist.

Maybe actually help your disabled friends when they need it. For examples STOP GOING TO VENUES WE CAN’T GET INTO. Do you know how shit it is for us to see you all go to venues with zero access for disabled people, or for that matter, friends going to venues where the staff are problematic and cause pain?? Yeah, we know that there are loads of you that STILL go to venues that have ablist, transphobic, racist and anti Semitic staff members. You don’t think we don’t notice this shit. You then come to us saying “oh we want to help” but don’t do anything. Here is something you can do.. STOP SPENDING MONEY IN SHIT VENUES. And I’m saying this especially to my LGBT friends, cause you do this shit more than the cis hets. Your performative bullshit is just as fucking annoying, if not more so because we fucking expect better from you. STOP GOING TO PLACES THAT ARE FULL OF SHIT HEADS!!

I know I sound like a huge party pooper but Jesus fucking Christ this has become fucking frustrating. You are literally giving money to things that cause us pain, and that means there is nothing going to the places and things that actually support us as trans and disabled people. Actually support trans and disabled business. And not just do it for the fucking cookies but for us to actually improve our lives.

Give us a fucking platform worth having and pay us for our labour or fuck off .. We are done with your bullshit, no more free cookies till you help us!!!

Problems Within The Community

You know what, I’m going to say it sometimes, the trans and queer community fucking sucks. Do you know what sucks more than politics, queer politics.

Its based on a bull shit lie. Do you know what half of the community is? White angry people who claim to be allies when really they are not. Now I’m not saying being white or being angry isn’t OK. Fuck that. What’s not is OK, is that I have seen some incredibly offensive people in the queer community and they just need to leave.

There are a few people who identify as queer activists , who are white, and do not understand the issues and cultural appropriation with having their hair in dreads or corn rows. In fact they have said how they are a fashion statement more than anything. If you have chosen not to educate yourself on this, and still wear them, please vacate from the queer circles.
There are a few trans activists that REFUSE to accept non-binary folk or people who’s gender expression is beyond the basic construct of male or female. There are people who are in the trans community who refuse (or worse forget) that “they” is a legitimate alternative as a pronoun. There are also trans activists that after MONTHS of telling them not to misgendered someone who uses other pronouns, they still claim to forget, or choose not to be respectful.
To add to this point, I have heard non-binary queer people, tell other non-binary queer people, that they are not queer/non-binary enough. If you are one of these people who thinks its OK to belittle someone because what you see is “non-binary” and “queer” isn’t the way that makes you happy, then get the fuck out of my breathing space .
We do not tell someone that they are not trans enough, so what makes you think this is acceptable. Being queer isn’t about how you dress, or how your gender expression needs to be loud and out there. It doesn’t. Its about fighting oppression, something I thought we wouldn’t need to do in our own community. What we need to do is to keep ourselves educated, listen to minorities and stop oppressive systems. What we do not need to do is police someone’s gender, critique someone’s clothing or allow racist and prejudice people into spaces that are meant to be safe.