Content note – mentions miscarriage.
Urgh, so I’m slowly creeping up to the big 30 this month and I’ve noticed that more and more people are starting to question about me settling down. Or to put it better, when am I going to stop being poly, be in a mono relationship and start having kids.
Sorry, but it’s not happening.
For years I thought I wanted kids, I actively tried, and quickly found out through multiple miscarriages that it would be very difficult for me. Having miscarriages rips your fucking heart out, it nearly killed me every time. I tried for a long time to do the whole kids route. Then I realised I wasn’t doing this for me, I was doing it because society expected it from me.
When I came out as trans, I decided I wanted to keep my eggs, just in case. After a while I realised it really wasn’t something I wanted to do. I had just felt pressured being in a long term relationship and everyone wanting you to make the next step of marriage and kids.
Then my health started playing up.
Nothing has ever stopped me more from wanting kids then not being able to physically look after myself. I have days where I struggle to physically move and days where I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I know physically I couldn’t be a 24/7 parent to a child.
What I want to know, is why the fuck is there some bullshit expectation to settle down and have children at a certain age. I mean the worlds fucking over populated, we have Trump controlling a quarter of the fucking globe, you can’t get on the housing ladder, so your kids don’t have something to inherit when you die.
These are good points, but why do I need to even do them. Surely just saying “because I don’t fucking want to” should be a good enough reason as to why you don’t want a child.
And hell let’s face facts there are many MANY teenagers that are stuck in the adoption system. If I was wanting to have kids, I would fucking adopt. Obviously the issue here would be me to pass the adoption test. But if I wanted kids, I would give someone a chance they were not able to get.
I mean yes. I love seeing my friends kids, and yes I’m always up for baby sitting duties, but fuck dealing with dirty nappies, temper tantrums and a question every 30 seconds to something I do not have the answer to.
This is why I have cats!
Tyler Charles Austen 