BDSM DOESN’T EQUAL TO ABUSE!
I don’t know if I am going to be having to repeat the same bullshit over and over again, but yet again people are saying that BDSM means you are either abused or abusing your partners. If you however do BDSM and abuse your partners, you can fuck off out of the community, that’s not what we are about.
BDSM is about consenting acts between partners. Spanking, whips and canes might not seem like fun to you personally but to others it’s amazing. I choose to be a sub not because I am being abused, but because it’s my thing. The fact I am able to trust my partners being dominant. I have always consented to role play and scenes.
What however is abuse is physical, mental and financial harm that is not consented to. Its an act your partner does that they have not agreed on. It is not a consenting role play or scene involving toys and chains. It is not agreeing on safewords and aftercare treatment.
The thing is, when you accuse people of abuse, you are going to be affecting their lives. When someone has actually been abusive, you need to stand up and fight against it. When your ideals with sex make you think that a consenting act is abuse, you need to stop and think. How will this false accusation affect their relationship? When you also falsely accuse people of abuse you are potentially affecting the real victims. They are the people we should be looking after. They are the people we should be fighting for. Not some petty bullshit because you don’t like kink.
I have been in abusive relationships. None of which have been with Dom’s. I have been very lucky in that sense. There are some arseholes out there, but real Dom’s are not abusive. I have seen partners be in abusive relationships with non kinky people. It doesn’t mean everyone who’s non kinky is violent or abusive. It means that there is some cunt trying to spoil it for the rest of them.
I’m not telling everyone to get into kink, all I’m saying is that you should do research before you accuse the bdsm community of being abusive to their partners.
Not everyone who’s kinky is abusive and not all abused people are into kink.