5 fucking years this has been going on for and whilst I have found this a wonderful journey, it is something that I would not wish upon anyone. Yes I am happy, yes this is what I have always wanted but the confusion, the physical endurance, the surgery panic and a loss of friends has taken it’s toll on me.
I still have my hysterectomy to be booked and sorted but that’s officially it for me. Having top surgery and a wonderful consultation with the amazing Dr Lorrimer also managed to clear my head in regards to my own gender identity and I came out as Agender earlier in the year. I also came out as gay also, as I realised that me being bisexual just didn’t fit anymore. I’m attracted to masculine folk and I’m masc/andro presenting and masc/andro gender identified so gay is in all honestly how I see myself.
Hormones have been still the burden of my life, I still do find them a bit of a drain but I’m doing much better than I was. On a scale, I’m about 4/5 of the way through puberty and my skin has cleared up at least, but losing my hair has been quite upsetting.
Top surgery was this year though, and that was good. I decided not to bother with getting my nipples tattooed in the end, but it means I don’t have to worry so much about getting my chest tattooed. I will be probably having a revision as one side is slightly wonky, but the results past that have been AMAZING. I couldn’t have asked for more to be honest.
I look forward to the final changes that I do have in myself, and that I hope that one day I can grow a reasonable beard.
Till then I’ve just got these facepubes to contend with. At least it’s something though.
As the years progress I hope I finally find peace with my ever changing, constant breaking body, and next year I hope that my medical transition is complete.