Past and Future

As I sit here writing this on my dressing gown debating whether to make myself a caramel chocochino, I am also debating what the fuck this year actually is going to bring for me. 

I have started planning everything I want to in advance (well kind of anyway) and have started to try and get my life a little bit more organised. When I wrote yesterdays post, I hadn’t actually spotted though that today’s would be highly similar. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe it isn’t. 

This year is the first year where I don’t actually have fully set plans for everything, and I say this with not one but FOUR journals in front of me. Ok, one of them is my specific neopets one and the other is for exclusively writing notes in meetings, but still, with all of this, I STILL do not actually have my life in order. And you know what, I couldn’t be more happier. 

The past two years I was getting stressed out with views, content, surgery, rehabilitation because of my mental and physical health and the looming presence of hitting my 30s. The truth of the matter was, that trying to actually program myself to forcefully do shit all the time was making me ten times more depressed than actually trying to just exist actually was. 

In the past year I had almost forgotten how to breath. 

Last year I lost a huge platform, which meant I lost about 90% of my readers and if I’m totally honest, yes it did fuck me up. I had worked really hard on it and well it was now gone. However, this made me put a fuck ton into perspective and realised I could actually start to have time to recover and rebrand everything. I had been locked in a situation where I was too scared to write what I wanted to, and be who I was and now it was like being reborn again. 

I suppose after last year, and nearly dying .. Yes it hurts and, no no one wants to think about it, but yes nearly dying… It put everything into fucking perspective. I am no longer this two dimensional character for people to shit on or use. I had spent last year fighting battles I truly didn’t need to, and stepping away from that made me feel so much fucking better. 

I just wished I had actually done it sooner!!

2018 is going to be a different year. It is going to be the year where I just do what ever the fuck I actually want to do. I’m no longer am going to be scared of the consequences of being who I actually am, and you know what, if I make mistakes along the way then that’s perfectly fine too. I have been fucking chained down to acceptance for so long that it tires me and this year is going to be different. 

This year I’m going to focus on actually writing for me, and well if people want to read it then that is wonderful. I’m not going to stress myself out on content I have failed to post on time. I am going to spend more time on self care, and by fuck I’m actually going to spend more time with my family because I saw them fuck all last year and if anyone has a goddamn issue with that then you can go fuck yourself. 

Oh, and get more tattoos.. I need more of those. 2018 is going to be the anti 2017 and I am looking forward to it. 

Possible Patreon And Moving Forward

I’ve been doing this now for a couple of years now (thank you everyone who has been here from the beginning) and I think it is time to seriously start moving forward with this shit now. 

I have been toying with the idea of setting up a patreon for myself and the blog. Whilst I do enjoy doing this, I want to start doing this on a full time level as opposed to part time. The amount of emotional and physical labour it is costing me to try and be two separate people to get by day to day is too much. I also want to finish the book I’ve been writing for the past two years, and possibly start on a couple of others. I believe that me setting up a patreon will not only encourage me by working harder on my posts, it will start to bring in some sort of revenue. 

I am still going to continue to write on here, and I will still have all my content on my blog free to readers. That will not change. I just need to start getting professional with it now. I do want to get a business account as soon as I possibly can, if anything , just so I can have free reign and my own domain name. I also want the ability to be able to continue to do reviews. Unfortunately because of my mobility and cut backs, this has become on the verge of impossible. If I can’t get out the house, I can’t see shit, I can’t grab shit and ibcabt purchase things either. 

I also want to try and do a podcast to, where I answer questions about sex,dating, rants and trans stuff. Something that had been a huge part of this blog, but unfortunately something I’ve not been able to persue because of issues. I don’t know if these podcasts would be a patreon exclusive or something else entirely. 

Finally I want to have more reader based content. Finding stuff to rant about, whilst highly librating, is also exhausting. GIVE ME TOPICS FOLKS! I also do want to bring back “Fuck you, it’s your turn Friday’s”, where readers submissions get posted to the blog. If you do have topics you want me to personally cover, you can always tweet me @tcausten with an idea. 

Basically. I need money, I need to do more things, and I need to get my ass into gear. Please give me reasons to continue this ❤

How Not To Blog

What makes me laugh is that there are these constant posts about “Increasing your reach” “Get the most views” and about a million other posts online about gaining your full potential.

Today I’m going to tell you how not to blog, or write or tweet or contuct yourself poorly on social media in any way. 

1) DON’T FUCKING SWEAR. Nothing screams unprofessional more than you dropping cunt in the middle of a sentence. I mean it, you will loose views cause you say “shit” “fuck” “ass” or any other pissing swear word you can think of. 

2) DON’T PUT MEMES IN YOUR POST. 

I mean, what even are memes anyway? They serve no purpose and they distract from the current economic climate we currently have. You wouldn’t catch me putting a fucking meme in any of my posts what so ever. 

3) NEVER MENTION SEX. No one wants to hear about double penetration or the messages you get online. You would never catch me doing the thing here , here or even here.

4) DON’T MENTION SURGERY. No one ever wants to here the gory details about having your chest cut open or anything that involves bodily functions. Just forget that you are even a human being, and if you ain’t able bodied, you shouldn’t fucking post. 

5) DON’T BE ANGRY. DO.NOT.BE.ANGRY. You will never see a post on here where I flipped my shit at anything what so ever. I have never built a reputation of being an ANGRY PERSON that it’s even in my tag line. DO NOT BE ANGRY.

6) BE POLITE TO ALL YOUR READERS

7) DONT MENTION THAT YOU ARE PART OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY…. EVER. IT’S BORING AND NO ONE LIKE A BORING GAY BOY. 

8) DON’T POST RANDOM PICTURES YOU LIKE FOR THE SAKE OF IT. 

It’s not a blog for you, it’s for who you write. You no longer own this shit. No matter how cute you kinda look in that picture. 

9) DON’T PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE THAT YOU LOST YOUR HAIR . No one needs to know why after seeing you with your trademark pink hair, it’s all gone. 

10) NEVER START A BLOG BECAUSE YOU NEEDED AN ALTERNATIVE TO THERAPY, GET ANGRY ONE DAY AND SUDDENLY REALISE THAT PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY READING YOUR SHIT. 

11) NEVER ANNOUNCE YOU ARE TRANS. 

12) OR FROM A JEWISH BACKGROUND

13) NEVER DO A POST THATS AN ENTIRE LIST OF THINGS YOU SHOULDNT DO. 
Basically. Do what ever you fucking well want. Write what you want to write, do what you want to do, fuck who you want to fuck (LEGALLY) and most importantly have fun.

Plans For 2017

So it’s that time of year where I start thinking about what I want to do for the blog in the next 12 months. And this time is no different. 

So start of I will continue to blog on here as much as I possibly can. I have built this into something that I want to continue for as long as I can. 

I have a journal now, so I write down all my ideas in there and I also plan to keep doing this for as long as I can to. 

I might be working on another project. Maybe a more crafty blog or maybe one that is more sexually based and a lot more kink. These are some of the ideas I’m thinking of. 

The goals of next year are to get 25,000 views, take part in a couple of writing challenges, and to keep doing what I am doing. Hopefully by next year I will have the book finally completed to, so that would be a plus. 

Happy 2017 people. Hopefully it will be a good one  

The Lesser Known Sexualities

By now most people know what “Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual” means in this day and age, but as language and sexuality has evolved, more and more terms are coming out and some people can feel a little confused. So I decided that today I would write about some of the other terms you might not have heard of. 

1) Pansexual – This term is quite old now and people have been using it more and more, yet some are unaware of what this means as a term. No it doesnt mean  that you are attracted to kitchen applicances, it means that you have an attraction to someone regardless of gender. 

2) Polysexual – this term is pretty similar to bisexual. Its where people find that they are attracted to some genders but not all of them. 

3) Asexual – another one that’s quite well known, but it means very little to no sexual attraction. 

4) Androsexual – For people who are primarily attracted to masculinity, so that would be anyone who’s gender presentation was masculine, not specifically just to men. 

5) Demisexual – someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction unless they develop a connection with a person. 

6) Gynesexual – someone who’s primarily attracted to feminity. Just like with androsexual, this doesn’t exclusively mean one gender, but instead attraction to feminine presenting people. 

7) Skoliosexual – Being primarily attracted to queer, trans, non binary or gender non conforming people

This is certainly not a finished list. If people would like more to be added, please write them in the description. I hope that this list has helped some people out there. 

One Month, Several Days And A Million Seconds

Its now been over a month since I have quit smoking. I have had a couple of blips but honestly I feel a million times better now.

I honestly thought I would give up after a couple of weeks but I’m now more determined than ever to do it. I’ve found vape juices that I totally love which helps even more. Fatties liquid does a superb one called red cowwww which is a strawberries and cream flavour. I’m seriously in love with it at the moment. 

On the 21st i have another appointment at the gender clinic. I’m not feeling too nervous about it at the moment, but I will probably get more nervous as the days progress. 

The only thing that I can physically talk about on here regarding an update is that I need to cut back on a lot with my life. I need to put myself, my family (including partners) and my book first right now or I’m going to go crazy again.

I wish I could explain more about what’s  been going on, but I don’t want to affect any outcomes. One day I will be able to talk about it publicly but now isn’t the time. 

My Top Ten Favourite Simpsons Episodes.

Its been a while since I have written about The Simpsons and I thought that I haven’t actually listed off some of my favourite ones ever made. So today, here is my list of favourites. Please feel free to write hat your favorite ones are too. 

These are in no particular order of loved, these are just 10 of the most special ones to me.

1) Simpsons Roasting on an open fire – OK, so this HAD to be on the list. It was the very first proper episode that came out. It was the introduction to the whole family, its now cult Christmas viewing and it introduces “Santa’s little helper”

2) Lisa’s first word – Elizabeth Taylor gets the last word of the episode. ***Spoiler*** its also the first time that Maggie speaks. It has an amazing plot, has some great gags and you find out how they get the house that is iconic. 

3) ANY EPISODE THAT FEATURES HOMERS MUM!! The ageing hippy has been in several episodes, coming in and out of Homers life because she’s on the run. It finally comes to an end when she dies later on in the series. The first time she left was the first time they ended the episode on a sad note. Fox even refused to show promos at the end in case it ruined the ending. 

4) Lisa’s Blues – BLEEDING GUMS MURPHY!!!! He is my favourite side character in the whole series. I’ve said before in a previous post about my connection to this episode, and how I can’t watch it without crying. It sums up clinical depression quite well and the relationship between Lisa and Marge in this episode just kicks you in the heart. 

5) And Maggie make three – “DO IT FOR HER!!!!!” 

6) Weekend at Burnsie’s – The pro cannabis episode for people who don’t know the episode. Homer gets a promotion because he’s so wasted he thinks that everything Mr Burns is funny as fuck. If you live in a country where weed is legal, smoke a bowl and watch this episode. You will not regret it. Also whilst I’m here, get high and watch the next one on the list. 

7) El Viaje Misterioso De Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage Of Homer) – Mr Cash , Chilli cook offs and the most visually pleasing episode in the entire series. 

8) Homers phobia – One of the most queerest episodes of the Simpsons (and let’s face facts, its pretty queer). This episode they talk about why Homer is homophobic and how he over comes it when he thinks that Bart is in fact gay. This episode paves the way to talking about how more of the characters are gay /queer and even later on in the series shows how far Homer comes when he performs same sex marriages. 

9) Bart the daredevil – Stunts, jokes, monster trucks and the introduction to the Springfield gauge gag. Also it was the first episode to show blood and that Homer was actually hurt. 

10) Treehouse of Horror – The mini episodes are amazing however my favourites include the Shining skit, the Jerry Springer pisstake and of course the attack of the dolphins. The treehouse episodes are often well thought out and are often linked together. They are a great part of Halloween. 
So what are your favourite episodes and why? 

Three years on T

Every year I do the whole “look at what changes have happened” round about the same time. The 12th marked 3 years of me being on hormone replacement therapy, so let’s have a catch up on what has happened in the past 12 months regarding my transition

Well after the bullshit funding rejection, Charring Cross signed me off for top surgery. I need to contact the surgeon team to book an appointment. I have taken a little time off my transition because of other things that have been very important in my life. 

I got a lower surgery consultation, it was good but the doctor was really shit with me. He only gave me 10 mins for the whole session.

My hair is at the last few months now of keeping it. Soon it will be too patchy and I will have to shave it off.

Beard hair is FINALLY coming through. 

Acne is still there and still painful.

To be honest, these past 12 months have been really quiet in regards to my transition. Hopefully in the next year I get to report that I have had at least top surgery. 

Ten Things I’m Thankful Of – 17

I haven’t done one of these in a couple of months. I’ve been so busy with so many things I haven’t had time, so excuse my absence.
For starters, thank you to my wonderful partners. They have been amazing as always and they put up with me being a dick.
Thank you to my family. I’ve gone back up to Scotland for a couple of weeks and as well as spending time with them, I have been able to fuss baby owls.

Thank you to the NHS, because they have been pumping me full of painkillers and medication whilst I have been on and off ill.
Thank you to the random stranger who asked me to do a review in exchange for a free e-copy of there book. Whilst I didn’t like it personally, it was still a great offer and I appreciate it.
Its difficult because the rest of the news hasn’t been great lately, especially with the terrible result of the EU vote. So I would like to thank the people who actually voted to remain. We tried.

Thank you to all the people who will be affected by this news. Thank you to all the people of colour for putting up with this shit news. The members of Europe who live here and are now getting abuse. I’m sorry that you are getting abuse. You don’t deserve this.
Thank you to the people who have supported me lately when things got shit.
And finally thank you to all my readers. Without you, I am nothing

You’re Drunk Google, Go Home

Last year I gave you a blog post about some of the greatest (and worst) search terms used to find my blog. Well its coming up to half way through 2016 and I thought fuck it. Let me show you some of the highlights I have seen so far.
Now I’m going to content warn this. There is going to be some transphobia being mentioned, some offensive language, obvious pornographic search terms and people who are dicks online searching for shit they shouldn’t. This picture depicting a round that was played on cards against humanity is going to show you where this post is going.

1) The most individually searched term to find me is mature sex. Firstly I was really pleased because I thought “oh, people are looking for discussions on sex in a mature manner. NO! That was not what people were looking for. Here are a couple of screen caps that follow on from that search term.

I’m not even fucking joking. These are a tiny amount of some of the over 60s porn searches people have used to find me.
Now I can guess why this has kind of happened. The beginning of last year I wrote a pretty bad article about a terrible show that was on channel 5 about the over 60s having sex, and at the time I wasn’t very polite about it. I edited it last year and it hasn’t been one of my most visited posts. Then I don’t know what happened, but it started going a little viral this year. Then these searches happened.
I suppose I’m sorry to have disappointed a lot of people who have clicked my site hoping for it to be a porn blog. Google has tricked you. There is no over 60s porn here.
2. How many Cs are there in the word cunt? None just you.
Ok this one, and other variations of spelling wasn’t going to be big news to me. My very first proper review was about the film Legend, and if you do not know it is one of the more famous quotes.
Reason why I’m posting this, well I posted it last year and it got so little movement I nearly binned the review and decided never to review anything again. Then something happened in January and it became (and still is) my most viewed post I have ever had. I get several views every day for this post alone.
Google not only were you not drunk for this post, but I’m impressed that you keep reminding me how much I love Tom Hardy every day 3.


3. I can’t believe that I’m having to write this but my next one is trans women tyler

Now I’m really hoping that either someone has made a mistake or is genuinely looking for where I have written about trans women.
However this search term came up just about the time when my “Dear Cis People” got ripped off by a vile transphobic piece of shit, who went on and on about how transphobia wasn’t a real thing and he could misgender people because he was gay.
The plus side to this is that he linked his vile blog post to mine, and I got a fuck ton of views because of it and a lot of new followers. Cheers. It was almost as great as when the TERFS started drama with me last year and I got lots of views.
4. Most obscure award goes to the search term fun. Yep. The word fun. Google decided that the word fun was going to bring up my blog. If you are the person who searched that and found me, drop me an email. How many searches came up before you found me? Did you find what you were looking for? Drop me a message. And to prove it happened. Here is the screen shot.

5. Is Tyler Charles a good tattoo artist?  I had to Google this one myself. There is a tattoo artist who shares my first and middle name. I don’t know if he’s a good tattoo artist, but I’m getting his traffic. This isn’t the only search term for him I have had.
Tyler if you are UK based (ideally in the south) I’m willing to give you a shout out and a guest post to say sorry for stealing your traffic. In return I ask for a free tattoo. Nothing too big, maybe a couple of stars or a knife.
6. Now this one is one of my favourites. I’m done fucking people quotes. Oh who ever posted this, please please tell me where you were redirected to because I certainly do not have what you are looking for. Did I help you or did once again Google fuck up and not give you what you were looking for?

7. I don’t like it when you drink photos . I’m sorry who ever posted this one because I know for a fact I have never posted anything close to this the whole time I have had this blog. I’m sorry who ever got directed to me.
8. Big black dick. Fuck sake Google. No. There are a million things wrong with you directing this to me and my blog and two of the reasons is because I am white and I do not have a penis. Just fucking stop.
9. Probably one of the saddest search terms used but this is a good one. I helped some certain people and I really regret it. I am sorry to who ever wrote this on Google. I hope that you managed to feel better about your situation. I don’t know whether my blog helped but I hope you are ok. If you follow me, give me a shout to see if you are ok.

Finally, I don’t know whether I have saved the best till last but here it is.
10) Artistic photos of beautiful bi sexual females having sex with each other.  Yes I’m not joking. For starters on not even female, I’m just a male vagina owner. Secondly I do not think I could ever see myself posting artistic pornography on here. Thirdly, why does Google’s bots think I’m a porn blog. I have never stated that I am in the slightest.
Google what the fuck? Why do I get porn searches. Why?

This is only a tiny selection of what has been searched up. You would be surprised, because of privacy settings I am unable to look at about 70% of all my search terms. I will do another post like this in December, maybe make this into something that happens every 6 months.
If you ever do search anything obscure and I pop up, send me a message. You might make it onto the list

PS – Because of this I’ve probably made my searches a whole lot weirder.