So, I’ve had complications from surgery and will catch up as soon as I can get back online properly and not be on a ridiculous amount of pain killers.
My hysto went really well, it’s just minor things that are keeping me in hospital at the moment and I shall return in the next couple of days to finish this whole thing off
Shortest post I’m probably going to write but I don’t think that it requires a lot of words.
If your feminism doesn’t count trans women, sex workers, people of colour, disabled people and the working class, not only is it not intersectional, it is in fact shit. Feminism is about equality for all, not just those who already have a sense of equality.
Being hyper visible in society can be really difficult. There is a huge assumption because it is “obvious” that you are disabled or “visibly queer” you get life a lot easier because you are seen in society. Trust me, whist we are talked about, no it doesn’t get any easier. It is often used more as an excuse to patronise you or treat you like a lesser human being. I do also want to add before I continue that I suffered years having my illnesses being “hidden” and yes it was shit, and people didn’t often believe how much in pain I was or how tired I was, but it was nothing in comparison to what I experience now when I am out in my chair.
Being visible doesn’t mean you are free from discrimination. Trans people who are “visibly trans” are still getting murdered, gay men and lesbians are still being forced into heterosexuality and wheelchair users are seen as second class citizens and have to deal with unemployment based on employers unwilling to make “reasonable adjustments” to the work place.
Gay people do not suffer less oppression because they are more visible by being in same/similar gender relationships. Gay people do not get it easier because they are known more for being gay. There is a huge wave of how gays and lesbians are taking up “too much” space in the LGBT community and that we should bring forward B and T … For starters trans people can be gay or lesbian and secondly talking about same and similar gender attraction does not invalidate bisexuality because that is a part of it and “straight passing” relationships are never the ones that are under attack and subject to violence and oppression. I also hate the phrase straight passing in this situation but trying to word it as cishet by society standards seems wordy as shit.
The same can be said for disabled people who’s disabilities are visible. This doesn’t mean that people with invisible illnesses and disabilities are being talked over, but that there is different needs for different communities and that creating accessible spaces, work laws and equality polices for the ones that are most visible will in turn also make all this safe for those who are not visible in society because everything will already be in place. For example, we need lifts – wheel chair user shouts at person for lift access.. Lift access is now for all people with access needs.
Reasonably short post but in summery hypervisibility does not equate to safety.
Not many things terrify me when it comes to my writing but wanting to bring up faith and my own personal faith, and suddenly I shit myself in fear. I suppose there are many factors into why I would find this so terrifying, a lot of it though is my own personal battles with faith and thoughts about it.
I am a person of faith. I also have Jewish heritage. These are intersectional and I consider myself to be a Jewish Satanist. No, Satanism isn’t about worshiping the devil, but about having a critical thought process on religion and faith (and not allowing people to fuck with you). I am highly critical about religious scripture and textbooks and I would rather discuss what religion means on a personal level than as a collective. There is a high amount of sexism, homophobia and bigotry in religious text, but you have to remember that each section was written by one person (or a small collective) who had their own motive to write it, and that was often to keep the oppressed and illiterate masses under the thumb of oppression.
However being a queer person and having faith spark debate constantly, and whether being queer and of faith can actually be healthy thing. And the truth is, yes. There is nothing to stop a person from being able to be LGBT and of faith, just as it is that straight people can be atheist. You can have a relationship with God and be queer. God had created us in their own image, there for even a small part of God themselves would be Queer. I also feel that when judgement day happens and if God is in existence, I feel that my homosexuality would be in all honesty the least of his concerns.
Faith is often used as a point of comfort, and it was something that had sparked mine. My nan was Jewish, and when she passed I wanted to keep one part of her still going. As a family, we had been brought up that respect different faiths and beliefs and that it was OK to also not be a believer. We were allowed to research and educate ourselves on faith and Judaism was something that was never forced on any of us. My brother and sister are atheist and my mother has faith but still sees it as a collective attitude rather than a singular religion. I am highly privileged to have been able to experience this growing up and it had brought me to a better understanding of faith.
It is just something I feel so uncomfortable of even discussing and practicing because of my queer identity. Not because I would be shunned from my faith, because there are queer synagogues.. But queer people who do not have faith or religion ate pretty quick to shit on us. Trust me, the amount of LGBT people that make comments about Jews, or Muslims or Catholics like they are single handily oppressive sexist forces is really gross. It’s often queer folk telling us that we will not be welcome and that our choices of faith are bizarre since we know science. Lmao, you can believe in science AND be of faith too. There are often gross religious stereotypes thrown at us, and the worst part that our faith is often erased to help “towards inclusion”
Eventually I will write more about my feelings of faith and my queer identity as a non binary gay man, but until then, I am going to sit in my little bubble.
Brief one, because well, it doesn’t need too much covering and I’m a day behind.
Equality means shit all unless you are actually fighting towards equal rights and not just things that make your own personal life a lot easier.
Equality means that you consider intersectionality and how that there is not just one path way to be gay, or trans, or disabled, or whatever minority.
Equality means you stand up for all your sisters, regardless whether they works, want kids, are trans or are women of colour.
Equality means that everyone should have a safe home to sleep in and food.
Equality means everyone has the right to a life and also a right to quality health care.
If everyone wants equality, there should be no exceptions.
Before I start this post. This is not an information piece to be used as leverage against trans people. This is not a blog that agrees with the views of TERFs and it certainly isn’t to push any right wing agenda. This post is to actually bring forth a serious conversation that is scary to talk about but as a trans person it has been something that has come up in my personal life. It’s surprising that I have to actually say that at the beginning of a post, but the moment you mention the word detransition there is a huge panic by the trans community and glee from our oppressors.
Statistically there are so few real cases of people who detransition that there isn’t any direct path way for those who do decide to. You may see a small handful of posts online and a friend might consider it but there actually isn’t this huge collection of trans people out there that do regret transitioning.
But why do people decide to detransition?
There are many factors as to why this is possible. Gender being fluid, feeling worse than what they felt like originally, no money, no support, feeling like they have no ability to “pass” as the gender they are, medical complications… In all honesty there are many MANY reasons why a person would feel like they need to detransition. Very rarely it has anything to do with regret and even rarer has it been because someone has not known what they are doing and have been rushed into it by doctors. This is often though what the media and what the people who oppose trans rights would have you believe. That people are being forced to medically transition without the knowledge and understanding and regretting it later. Trust me, the average time it takes for someone to transition is 10 years. This is the basic pathway and not including extra steps and other pathways you can choose. This all starts off with about a year waiting for your very first gender clinic appointment, seeing counsellors, doctors and therapists before hormones and surgery are even considered. People who do transition are 99% fully aware of what is involved and there is no coercion or forced gender change, so we can put all those ideas to bed now.
Why is it not talked about though?
Because honestly we are scared of this conversation. We are scared that it makes us look bad. For fuck sake I needed to put a disclaimer at the beginning of this because when someone feels they need to detransition, the right wing shit bags and TERFs rub their hands together like they are winning a fight. No you are not winning a fight, it’s just some people do not have the strength to continue and that’s fucking OK.
I’ve been honest before and said that if I had known now what I do about my physical health, I may have partially detransitioned. I wouldn’t have put myself in a situation where a medical menopause affected me that badly. I am slowly getting through it, and what happened to me was so fucking rare it hasn’t even been a thing discussed till recently, but I may have not gone on T. I had until recently not wanted to talk about it because so many people are scared of the idea of people wanting to detransition.
I think it’s time to open a dialogue, a safe one. One that’s only done with trans people and work out how we can protect those who think this needs to be an option for them
When you think of disability and how to make lives more easier for disabled folk the first things that are often though of is access requirements and the truth of the matter is, that it’s a highly important thing to think of, but how do we even contact disabled people to come to events to make them accessible for them in the first place? This question is just as valid when we are talking with the trans community as well, and if you have just joined me you might think that this is a very weird tangent, but I am both trans and disabled and I need access.
There is quite a cross over in the LGBT community and disabled one. We don’t know why that is, it might have something to do with the fact that if you can be open with yourself as to who you are, it is easier to admit when you have problems. I don’t know, I’m not a scientist. But what I do know is that there is a serious feeling of alienation in both communities that needs to be addressed. There is a constant talk about how you want people to reach out and get to services and events, but there is no actual conversation on how we reach those who are most hardest to reach. Not much effort is put into it either.
The first things we can do is to research places that are already formed. I’m not talking about just buildings and physical meet up spaces but also online presence. Often where we are at home often, that is the starting out point of how to reach us. We can’t know of a thing designed for us if it’s not on a platform we would be using. Secondly, when you say you are accessible, what even does that mean to you and your venue? Accessible toilets are great, but if there is 5 steps to get in and no ramp, how is that accessible. Is there translators, does anyone know sign language? Are your staff have knowledge of autistic people. We are not demanding that you do everything, but listing off what your event and service provides is also a good place to start.
Alienation is not just an inability to access venues though. It’s a social issue as well as a mental health one. It is a feeling of hopelessness and lack of self worth. Something that has been programmed into both disabled and trans people as our entire world is designed for cisgender able bodied folk. We are reminded every day that people think we are second class citizens and it does drag us down to the point where we do not feel safe outside. The best thing to do with us is really simple. STOP DOING THAT. Each little back handed compliment and in your face insult just isn’t needed and behind those toxic thoughts and words are real people who are experiencing hell.
The final bringer of alienation is often how we behave ourselves as humans and as our own community. We all fuck up. All of our shit stinks but the queer community has a tendency to pick and choose the type of people they will “kick out” of the community and often some of the offences are nothing in comparison to the people they leave in. Life still feels like a popularity contest and trust me I’ve seen people who have been metaphorically dragged out for saying the wrong thing but the same people doing this go to venues that support racism. There are people who get shit for making a mistake due to being ill or neurodivergent but there are famous trans people who rip off hard peoples work and cause physical distress but they are left alone. Our own community is pretty fucking toxic and we need to be held accountable for the actions we do to our own peers, especially our own disabled peers. We need to pack our shit in.
Alienation is a terrible thing and we need to do everything in our power to try and stop this from happening to the most vulnerable members of society. Look after your friends and remind yourself that there are people out there that might actually need your help.
April is coming and it’s another chance to attempt the A-Z challenge. Last year was a total disaster where I had to drop out half way through but the year previously was a success.
This years theme is about “Gender and Disability – looking critically and how to be more intersectional” This sounds like a total mouthful and yes I have made me work my fucking ass off this year but it was something I could actually do for a month that would still keep the ethos of what my blog was for originally.
If you have joined me because of the A-Z master post, hello!!! Some of the stuff might be confusing, some might be uncomfortable also. Whilst I am catering this month to the idea that there will be a lot of people reading this who have not only never encountered a trans person, let alone a disabled one – I will not be toning down language either and I will be pulling apart the cisgender heterosexual able bodied approach to life and how we need to adjust society.
Some posts have already been written in advance – on the 12th I am having major surgery. If I am slow to reply to comments and stuff. That is why.
Any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m more than happy to talk about certain things on here. Good luck to every writer taking part this month and I look forward to looking at what everyone has done
TC Austen
So on Friday it hit 8 weeks of me healing from top surgery and it is still pissing me off. I’m still in a lot of pain, I still can’t fully move everything and I’m still pretty swollen on one side.
Yes, I am so happy that I had top surgery, but I thought I would be healed already and I could go back to normal, but no. I am still in quite a bit of pain at times.
Why did you have to close down our Gregg’s on George street? Why do I no longer have a Gregg’s? I can’t express how much I’m angry about a lack of Gregg’s in Hove, but it’s been added to my things that make me angry. So this is why it’s here!!
Tyler Charles Austen 