3 comments on “The Demonization Of Detransition

  1. There’s also a brief kinda de-transition before certain kinds of surgeries, isn’t there? Someone in the partners group I attend mentioned it, that her partner is on estrogen but will have to stop taking it a bit before bottom surgery. It’s not a permanent stop of hormones, but it must be pretty unsettling for some.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh god yes.
      It’s specific to anyone going through HRT that the hormones are estrogen. I have met a shit ton of women who before lower surgery and a little bit after have had to stop estrogen and it has been so horrible for them

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can only tell my own story, it is mine and I do not speak for anyone but myself.
    At the age of 30 I began transition and was subsequently 16 yrs mtf . I had some incredible times and surrounded by the LGBT community a better world was opened up) To do justice to how and why I went down the road would take several small books and a lot of conjecture (transfolk know its a complicated place to be in, an evil curse upon ones life it feels all too often), initial reasons for transition seemed sound enough, I had been 3 years clean from heroin addiction when my dysphoria resurfaced …Heroin will do wonders as an anxiolytic and emotion blocker btw if you want to keep constant transition ideation to sleep for a few years or more …. but am totally not recommending it of course! Being in Sydney in 1992 it was easy to get access to the most experienced Endocrinologist and Psychiatrist who had more trans clients than any other in Australia.. in hindsight I had put on a pair of mental blinkers, not seeing any other way, that it was my last chance to be at peace rather than end my life.. travelling hopefully, one might say, and putting faith in electrolosis, testosterone blockers and estrogen to alter my 30 year old slight framed body and fine features to sufficiently to pass, as that was my fondest goal to be worked towards
    Later on voice training also, I cried when I discovered there was no way with my pitch to have a voice anywhere near female vocal range. A stronger human soul might have persevered and still be actively trans living, but my pragmatic analytical nature, shyness and shitty self esteem would eventually wear me down, The consequence of having a very deep voice meant constant stress of being sprung whenever I talked (way worse on the phone, I just stopped using the phone) more and more over the years when I looked in the mirror I started to ask, “could I do it?” “what will become of my life then? As an overly sensitive person could I possibly bear the humiliation and feelings of failure and “detransition”? That was circa 2006, I had my breast implants removed and cut my hair shorter and shorter, it was not a quick process more one that evolved gradually, but not nearly as bad as I had imagined namely what would people say or think of me.
    Now 57, I recently discovered that by taking testosterone blockers for 5 years and having ceased estrogen not long after (sick of drs visits and could see no further physical changes so just stopped them both) I now have extreme osteoporosis and the worlds lowest testosterone numbers..! (1.3nmol for the geeks out there) So its lifetime of Testosterone shots for me unless i want more minimal trauma fractures, I have been low T all my life it seems, I wont go to details but having normal levels of T has made a difference .
    Currently am suffering badly from childhood onset dysthimia (chronic lifelong depression) And digging up the past, I now believe that IN MY CASE, due to sadly inadequate parenting and subsequent unhealthy childhood development that my dysthimia contributed to seeking solutions in drugs and gender transition, So yeah, I have “issues” who doesnt?
    I miss the sense of community I had in the LGBT world very much, I was not strong enough to stay there, too much self doubt creeping in all the time.. its complicated!
    I am now quite OK with being in my male gender , it is not so bad and it feels better now I have adequate hormone levels, the 20 year flat lining on estrogen and T did some real damage though, long live the interwebs for helping me to know what scan and blood test to ask the drs to give me certain amount of PTSD through dealing with them and try to get them to listen..
    Anger at the past is futile but so hard to put down… I guess my folks did what they could given their own strange histories, but they had no clue really, childhood emotional neglect does quite extreme damage to chance of a happy life
    My goal is to find ways to be more at peace and not consumed by regret over wasted time .

    Like

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