I think I said a lot when I posted about my feelings on this post about my struggle with being in my chair, and recently that whilst I am really comfortable about talking about being in a chair, I don’t actually like being seen in it. Which is bizarre because ITS NOT LIKE IT’S NOT FUCKING INVISIBLE.
I’ve had to keep myself pretty grounded recently because being seen in a chair, being seen as visibly fucking disabled actually terrifies me more than anything else. It makes people treat you differently and how I often treat myself at times.
I will internalize most of the bullshit that goes on, and peoples ablist remarks because at times I feel like I deserve it. I constantly think “am I actually disabled though” in my head, even though I know in myself that I bloody well am. These intrusive thoughts do not go away.
What even is “being disabled enough” and what the fuck does it even look like?
Why do I constantly self doubt myself, even though it’s obvious that I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
What the fuck even is life?
Tyler Charles Austen 
I can’t even begin to understand how you would feel. But now that you’ve posted this, I’m thinking on this. If you are in a chair, you would be at a different eye level than those not. Would that make you feel that they are looking down on you? And how would all that feel? I’m asking myself. It’s not very much, I know.
Lily
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Honestly, yeah you are at an entire level to the average person. I mean I was cause I’m only 5ft 3 but it’s different. Quite depressing actually.
You have pretty much about 2.5ft maybe 3ft and you constantly have people looking down at you all the time. Quite often not intentionally.
The perks mean that being that low, you can see all the shop bargains and value stuff cause it’s never at eye level, and I make a great basket for shopping.
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I don’t mean to seem rude but when I look at your profile picture and see horns growing out of your head it gives me pause. But then again if you are sitting in a wheelchair I probably wouldn’t notice it as much.
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