Before I start, I’m going to say this. Unsolicited genital pictures are the fucking worst. I don’t care who the fuck you are, if you are sending dick pics to strangers who didn’t want to see them, you are the worst. Nothing is going to make that shit pretty. Just don’t do it. Also content note – this heavily discusses genitals. If you are uncomfortable with this, please do not read on.
Now we got that part settled, I’m going to tell you how to take a good dick pic.
Firstly. IT IS NEVER ABOUT THE SIZE. Honestly most of us do not even care about how big your dick is. It’s about how it looks. Do not start panicking if you have a micro penis or Dumbo’s trunk in your pants. It’s all about how you present it. Also do not ever feel pressured to even send a naked picture of yourself. You shouldn’t ever feel forced to do something you do not want to do. Only ever send something if you are 100% OK with it.
You want to first clear the area around you. Nothing is off putting more than seeing a dirty floor with laundry everywhere. Seriously. It’s distracting. Clear the area. This includes bed sheets and sofas. No one wants to guess the bizarre stain that’s next to your penis.
Secondly, angles are key. You want it so it’s about a 45° angle with you’d phone tilted to the tip. I’m actually joking. Seriously though, every dick is different, so take many photos from different angles and see what looks interesting and original.
Thirdly. Put a soft filter on it. EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT WITH A SOFT FILTER. Honestly you could post a turd up and make it loom attractive with the right light and filters. Which reminds me.. Do not use harsh strip lights and bright artificial lights. You don’t want it lit up like a meaty Christmas tree.
Forthly. Get fucking creative. Do poses that others wouldn’t. Some interesting backgrounds, hell even dye your pubes. You want it to stand out like no other dick pic has. Bonus points if you get a friend to take a dick pic for you. There is no shame in asking for assistance for a great picture.
Finally, just have fun. There is a huge pressure for us to be perfect all the time and in all honestly what you really need to do is just be yourself and not be a complete douche to the person you are sending them too. Just relax and it will come naturally.
Tyler Charles Austen 