8 comments on “B – Babies

  1. If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids. The end. Yes, there is an expectation from some that you should. But you are the only person who has to full time and forever live your life. And whatever you do people will judge. I always wanted children and have them. I remember before I got pregnant my husband’s family hinting I was leaving it late. When I got pregnant? A female friend, in complete seriousness, asked if it was a mistake. Many people try to share their baggage and it’s hard not to take it on. But happiness lies in leaving it where it belongs and doing the best you can for you. Last piece (of my possibly take it or leave it baggage)? One of my most memorable reads in recent years was this book called No Kidding – which was a collection of essays by women who didn’t have kids and why. There are many paths to a fulfilling life.

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    • Thank you.
      I will try to get it on amazon or something though, honestly I don’t know how I would find it as I’m not a woman but a man with a vagina who still has the capacity to birth children but chooses not to.
      I am certainly 100% on the whole not wanting to have kids, but my partner does want kids. I suppose that’s the plus side of poly, that they can choose to find someone who would be able to fill that void that I can’t.

      Thank you for your comment

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      • Ah – I missed that piece of it. I really enjoyed the essays for the number of different ways life can happily happen outside of having children even if you “have the power”. My mom was always rather “que sera sera” about the whole thing and while I’m (obviously) happy with how that went, I also honestly think she’d have been equally happy the other way. It’s hard when couples want different things as far as kids go.

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      • Haha to be honest my mum us exactly the same way. Though she’s entirely happy about having children, I don’t think she would have minded not having them either.
        She doesn’t pressure any of us, luckily about the possibility of her being a grandma, I think my sister may have kids, but I think that would be it.

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  2. I never considered myself the maternal type until I got to the age of 26 and suddenly my biological clock woke up. Seriously, I can still remember that desperate need to have a baby, even though I knew it was crazy. I was in a settled relationship with my now-husband, but we were skint and in tons of debt. Not much difference now really, except we have 2 children and a mortgage… 😉 My point is that like you say, each of us is on a unique journey. Do what feels right for you.

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  3. I’ve always thought people push the kid thing so hard as a sort of “misery loves company” thing. Hubby and I have been married for eight years, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard every possible reason why we “should” have kids. Neither of us have ever wanted them, so that’s never going to happen, but some people just don’t get that. I’ve mostly learned to ignore them and go about my life of sleeping through the night, not dealing with diapers, etc. quite happily.

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