Now I know that cishet people probably get a little fucked off by the amount I go on and on about their frustrations. If you are cisgender and heterosexual, relax this gripe isn’t with you for once. You can sit back with a coffee and a snack and read how a trans persons mad at trans people.
Yes! Shock! Horror! A trans person is actually mad about their own kind. What sweet fuckery is this? Well I will tell you. My nipples, or lack off. That’s what’s wrong.
You see, there is this bullshit idealistic view that many binary trans men have when it comes to top surgery. Nipples should always be attached, regardless of why you should choose not no have them grafted on to your own body.
When I got given my top surgery options I flat out said from the start that I was planning not to keep my nipples. This was for several reasons, one was due to my personal view on how the results are and another was that my body is terrible and an aesthetic skin graft would more likely end up with a serious infection and most likely rejection, so I would need to get them tattooed on regardless. My surgeon fully agreed with me on this.
Before I had top surgery I was getting pressured by trans guys to keep my nipples because:
* It would look too weird and gross
* It would ruin my sex life
* I would regret it
*Tattooed nipples don’t look realistic
* It doesn’t look natural
I was actually quite surprised that trans guys were shaming other trans and non binary people for not wanting or physically being unable to have nipple grafts. Regardless of what people thought though, I binned the nips.
A couple of weeks have passed and I have already started getting pressure on me getting them tattooed. Can’t my body fucking heal first? I have just been cut open. My lack of nipples have suddenly been brought to light because it’s not the norm. No it’s not.
What’s not been acceptable is that I have been pressured to get them put back on. That my body should suddenly be dictated and that a tattoo for aesthetic reasons must be done immediately so I don’t make the community look like freaks. They are not an importance to me, but they are to everyone else. I’m sick of people saying that it’s weird, gross and unnatural to not have nipples. I’m more upset that it’s coming from my own goddamn community and this pressure has to stop.
Top surgery is entirely different for everyone, and the results vary from person to person. Today I got shamed because my scar lines are far too uneven and I must have had some serious complications. Again I must stress that I’m only just two weeks in, and I’m seriously swollen on one side, but that’s normal.
I had to educate trans people that top surgery isn’t always a straight line across, and that the chances are really slim for someone to get the perfect cut across unless they started off as perfectly even chested to begin with. Being able to hide scaring is an actual privilege and a lot of trans guys shouldn’t be shamed because their bodies do not look perfect or fit a certain criteria.
There is some serious toxic masculinity bullshit going on in binary trans masculine spaces and it does damage young trans people with unrealistic body expectations. I post my pictures unedited in groups because they look like what they are and myself (and other trans people) will get moaned at because it looks painful and sore. Of course its sore. It’s fucking surgery. No one is trying to put people off it, we are just showing you what the reality is, and not filtered edited bullshit stories with unrealistic body types.
Surgery hurts, treatment hurts. But would I do it all over again and do the same things, fuck yeah!
I got an infection in one of my nipples and now I’m left with a big pink scar where it used to be, so infections definitely happen. Good for you for sticking to what you thought was best for yourself. I do plan on getting a little reconstruction and tattooing, but that’s my choice. I would never put you down for choosing the opposite. It’s sad that we can’t all just chill out.
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Oh I plan to get them tattooed on once I’ve healed eventually.
I just feel this whole once size fits all narrative just needs to stop
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I agree. Whatever you do is your business. Unfortunately, the trans community is just a microcosm of the greater community and there are some out there who want to dictate what everyone else should be doing. I don’t have time for those people and choose to ignore them.
I’m about 10 months post op now and just starting to feel like things are settling down. Two weeks is way too soon to do anything permanent like a tattoo. Those people are ignorant who are telling you to run out and get tattoos immediately.
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It’s everywhere now. Do this because everyone else does. Do this because it makes us comfortable. F that. It’s my life. It’s your life. Live it as you choose. That’s the whole point of freedom to choose. Living the way that suits you.
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I chose to keep my nipples, but I had a serious allergic reaction to the glue they used to keep everything in place .. half of my one of my nipples degraded. I plan on having revision for this and for serious dogears. I’ve always been really aggravated that for a community who is supposed to understand that the binary is bullshit, largely we have ultimately become just as much of the patriarchy. I myself can get caught up in the bullshit.
I have seen a few tattooed nipples and they look amazing.
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My partner had a huge allergic reaction to the glue and/or dressing when they had top surgery and it affected the results.
Its something people don’t actually consider.
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It’s your body so therefore your choice. I just wish I knew why men have nipples in the first place.
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This. Why are nips even a thing?
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Really enjoyed this update, can I set it up so I get an email sent to me when there is a new update?
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