Oh god what’s happened this time. I hear everyone huff at me as I put my 5ft 3 small ass on my soap box.
“Why is sex such a taboo subject around the trans community unless we are seen as a fetish?”
I have seen my patience become increasingly thinner over the past few months when it comes to sexual health, safer sex and consent. I don’t know about you but I have become quite frustrated about how there is a huge culture around cis people being able to freely discuss sexual liberation, and that trans people are not allowed to get in on that.
When a trans person starts openly discussing sexuality the room hushes, it becomes a taboo. It’s almost as if we cannot physically have sex unless there is a camera and it’s used solely as the wank material for cis guys. This should not be the case.
When we close dialog up on safe sex practice on trans people, we are suddenly making their lives in danger. We should be open to talk about what sort of sex we want and how we can protect ourselves with things such as condoms and access to rapid testing of HIV.
When we give misinformation on places such as saunas, what we are really doing is taking away safe meet up spaces that are monitored and watched so trans people are not attacked, raped and murdered for wanting consensual sex.
When we refuse to discuss trans sex workers, we are not addressing the issues on how to protect and serve our own community. Sex for pay is still going to happen. It’s a legal professional job for some people, and we should be providing them care and not stigmatizing them.
Because we don’t talk about safer sex, people do not know where to go for birth control. Yes, trans people can get pregnant to. Unwanted pregnancy can and does happen and there is no way to support people if we are forced to close dialog on sex and abortion.
STIs are always increasing. Sythilis is on the increase and it’s dangerous. But without us being able to discuss places for testing, more and more people are getting infected.
I will continue to be angry about this situation because when safer sex discussions get shut down IT PUTS TRANS LIVES IN DANGER. I will continue to try and give as much information as I humanly can because I don’t want people to die because of lack of knowledge or safe spaces. Also trans people who are asexual/aromantic should have the freedom to talk about why they do not want sex/relationships and not get shut down or mocked. It’s about open communication for all.
Further more trans people who choose to be sexually free shouldn’t be told by other trans people that it shames the community and that cis people will not take us seriously. You should never shame anyone fie their consenting and legal sex. There is no one right way to be trans and there will always be reasons as why some people will not accept us.
Tyler Charles Austen 
Well said, Tyler! That whole conversation earlier on was a complete joke. Denying people to talk about anything even remotely related to sex just endangers people. Taboos have never solved any issues. Thankis for bringing this to everyone’s attention.
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I have been trying to not post anything that might cause backlash recently but I’m just so fucking done with this policing of sexuality that damages the community more
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Yeah I can’t keep quiet anymore either when I see communities being damaged by that kind of prudish behaviour, and by adherence to outdated views that simply don’t belong in the 21st century.
Let’s rock! 🙂
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Lmao I didn’t have the heart to tell them that this was nothing and once I’m recovered from surgery, I plan to try and get a trans kink munch set up bwahaha
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Defo count me in! Nearly ten years ago I experienced some serious abuse by some people in the fetish scene (including the person whom I moved in with at the time), which left me pretty damaged and I’ve been staying away from any events since. But if something like that was set up in a safe environment, explicitly for trans / queer people and their friends, I’d be the first to say ‘Hell yes!’ 👍
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Yeah. Kai and I have been really fucked off with the scene for years and how it doesn’t actually provide any safe environment for trans folk. When I’ve brought it up in LGBT munches, it’s been brushed under the carpet or cis partners get the whole “it must be hard being with a trans person” bullshit.
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It’s definitely not safe out there. I’ll tell you when I see you sometime, but it left some seriously deep scars and not all wounds have healed, even after ten years. So as a result, as much as I’d love to have some sexual experiences, I’m not going to place myself at even the slightest risk, even if it means having to deny myself certain pleasures. A lot of that could have been avoided, had I had a safe place and trusted people at the time where I would have been able to talk aobut what was going on. But I’ve always found most members of the so-called ‘trans scene’ too distant and self-absorbed to open up to anyone about what is going on for me at any specific moment.
Need to head off to bed now, but keep us updated on FB about what is going on. And I’m definitely looking forward to Jak’s sauna! 🙂
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Take care of yourself and I shall see you soon
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In my experience, people in general are frequently uncomfortable talking about sex. I’ve had multiple friends ask me to have the sex talk with their kids because they couldn’t or wouldn’t. But bravo to you for being a port in the silence storm. People need information.
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