CN – This post contains discussion on racism, racist language, racist behaviour and mentions violent treatment towards people of colour.
Recently I have had to remove comments on some of my Facebook posts because there is so much fucking racism going on. Mainly from LGBT people I wouldn’t have expected. Honestly I’m really grossed out by it.
The thing is, when it comes to the the LGBT community, it gets “allowed” by society because they are a marginalized community.
No, that’s not how shit works. Last year I wrote about grindr and how its racist it is to show how we need to change and make things better for POC. It seems that it is still not quite getting to some white queer people. So you know what, I’m going to point out a few things and hopefully change peoples perspectives.
To start things off. Can cis white people stop saying that POC centred queer events are exclusionary. No. They are not. Take Queer Pride for instance, it is centred for POC for a reason. Regular prides are white, ableist and aimed at cis people.
Mainstream pride events cater for people who have money. Yes they are for a marginalized community, but it is only mainly aimed at white people. POC have to go through racism on a daily basis, they get less help in the community and they are more likely to get assaulted or murdered for being queer. Trans women of colour will suffer some of the worst discrimination ever imaginable, and they rarely get mentioned at pride events. And the reason why? White cis gays don’t see it as a problem. They see it as an issue they do not have to address because its not happening to them or they choose to ignore it.
As a queer person of colour, you are also less likely to have money, a stable job, have family issues and maybe homeless or in unsuitable accommodation. This doesn’t appeal to mainstream prides because its no longer a protest. Its a business. With £30+ price tags on just the entry alone, its not accessible. If you have been rejected for a job/home/loan because of the colour of your skin, you are certainly unable to make it to events like this.
Then it comes to floats and costumes. I’ve seen so many that have been culturally appropriating . Often with no challenging from the organization staff at all. I have even seen people black or brown face at events as a costume.
Do you think that any of this shit is safe for POC? No? Then why do you think safer spaced events are made. To include queer people of colour in queer events!!
Another point I want to raise , if you post that “immigration will bring us nothing but rapists and murderers into our country”. I want you to fucking unfriend me.
One, this actually fucking happened the other day and I felt physically sick.
Two, refugees are leaving their countries because they are getting raped, murdered, assaulted. No one wants to leave their country unless they have to. Their houses are being bombed, their families are being tortured and some are fleeing because they are queer.
Three, There are already rapists and murderers in this country and most of them are white. We have one of the smallest numbers of refugees coming into this country and this stuff is happening. Its not the refugees. Just fucking stop.
Finally, there is still a bullshit acceptance that racism is still OK when it comes to queer dating and sex.
If you are white, do not fucking say its just a preference and then write on your dating profile “No rice, No curry”. Its fucking gross and racist.
“Preference” is used as a fucking excuse by gay white men to justify being racist. If you are claiming that white people are hotter/more attractive/more intelligent then people of colour, you are being racist. Its not a preference. Just stop and fucking think when you next write or edit your dating profile.
We need to stand up to racist discrimination because it still goes on, whether you are blind to it or not.
Also before any white people have a shit fit and say this is just another person trying to make me feel bad, no. Its about making things better for people far more marginalised than ourselves and make “inclusive spaces” actually open to everyone and not just a select few.
At the risk of being yelled at for being elitist, let me say that the problem is not necessarily racism but that ignorant, vulgar people have access to technology. Most of these platforms don’t charge a fee for access so people with no hobbies or life plans can mingle with people who are actually looking to broaden their horizons. I do not use dating apps and never will but I have met the “It’s just a preference” types, face to face. They are always complaining about serial rejection. I think if these people have unattractive qualities, like being bigoted, belligerent and closed minded, it will seriously limit their ability to find partners. Who can stand to be around them anyway? I say, let the market decide. xo
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(I’m not going to shout you down)
Unfortunately if it involves discrimination because the colour of a persons skin, then it would be racist. Ignorance certainly isn’t an excuse if you call people by derogatory names. Regardless what “preference” a person has or hasn’t.
Its about unlearning all the shit we have been taught and to try and make things better.
Your point is very valid and I agree, most of these people will struggle to ever find partners because of their views. They are toxic.
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I understand racism very well and am not defending the preference argument at all. My point is that I agree we have to unlearn the nonsense about the colour/race/culture divide by allowing people to experience blowback for talking shyte. There is a vulgarity to putting that sort of thing out there and being associated with it. I have had people have mini strokes and ignore what I actually publish on my blog and start using broken English to me when I tell them I’m from a developing country. Then, they attack me for shutting that down.
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Urgh that is fucking gross, I am so sorry that you have experienced that.
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Thank you for saying that. I wish I had someone like you to slap those people down. So, I’m very grateful for your reflection. Warm regards. xoxo
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Discrimination and hate crosses all boundaries, be it sexual preference, race, physical disabilities or other cross sections that many people choose to have issue with.
Both of my boys (born from my first marriage, before I got smart and got a wife instead) married wonderful girls, both of color. I love both girls to death and am so glad they are the mothers of my biracial grandchildren. In marrying both girls, the boys made me prouder of them than I have been of anything, because I saw that they did not see color, they saw people.
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