S – Sex

The comment on this is “Awkward sex stories are the best”, so I assume that’s what the person who chose this wants to hear. Ok, let’s mention a couple of stories and points that have made sex uncomfortable or awkward.
1. I once did it in a club on stage with my partner at the time, there was a good couple of hundred people there. It wasn’t a sex club and it was pretty obvious we were fucking. We got kicked out of the club not because we fucked on stage but we tried to have round two in the toilets.
2. I’ve seen an ex partners parents collection of home photos they have taken of themselves whilst they were doing it. That made dinners with them very awkward.
3. I’ve had to go to hospital for a couple of sexual injuries. The worst being that the batteries from my vibrator exploded and leaked, and I got battery acid burns where you shouldn’t EVER get battery acid.
4. Got caught by a priest fucking in a church. I’m sorry. I’m very very sorry.
5. I suffer from sexomnia which means I tend to do sexual stuff in my sleep. This may sound funny, but I cannot share a bed with anyone unless they are fully aware that this happens and is beyond my control. It has ruined a good few friendships sadly

Tomorrow is T – Terror