Totally NSFW, CLICK AT OWN DISCRETION.
CW: SEX, BODY PARTS, TRANSPHOBIA
It’s official, here on this page we starting a new series on dating and hooking up. I don’t know how long I’m going to do this segment but I hope you stick along for the journey.
Today we are going to point out the shit you really shouldn’t do, unless you want to come across as an asshole.
So I gave my kik contacts out on fetlife, stated that I was trans into anything and hoped that people would take the bait, and they did. Let’s look at some of the highlights of this little experiment on how trans masculine identified people are treated online
Let’s break this down first. This wasn’t even on my KIK but on my actual fetlife account. Pro tip, check spelling before you send anyone anything! Especially if its the first thing you even send to a person.
Do NOT send an unsolicited dick video. Obviously this isn’t the video. It was awful. I don’t give a fuck who you are, don’t be that human. This video got sent to me after they wanted to know what I was doing at the time. I had told them nothing sexual before, during or after. Always ask to send dick pics. Secondly, if you feel like you NEED to send a video. Don’t turn your cock like you turn a sausage in a frying pan. It’s not sexy.
Now this one comes in two parts. Before this point he messaged me believing I was a trans woman, said hi and straight away demanded that I was his Dom and wanted a woman to worship him. I told him I was male. So I got the above answer
He then told me how interested he was because it would be different to have someone like me, and I explained that I probably wasn’t what he was looking for. He got quite pushy with how I should be his Dom.
STRAIGHT MEN TAKE NOTE: Regardless of genitals, if you are chatting to a man (trans or otherwise) they are still a man. Also when someone says that they are trans, this doesn’t mean everyone is a trans woman. Also if they are a trans woman, don’t assume sexuality, parts or even that they are even interested in you. Be fucking polite or don’t message.
I was asked whether I could answer questions about my transition, straight after a hi, how are you. Cis people. We are not your fucking encyclopedia of knowledge when it comes to everything trans related. Further more don’t call it a “theory” like its some bizarre scientific discovery or a talk by a philosopher. Just no!!! Don’t be mad if we don’t want to answer your questions about our genitals at 3am.
I would like to point out one special sender. I started talking to him and expected him to be the same as the others. He was certainly not and was really sweet toward me.
He asked me about how i was feeling, didn’t want dick pics and sent nothing that would have been untasteful. Act like this guy!! Be respectful.
The reason why I’m doing this is because that queer and trans people get a lot of hassle when they show any form of sexuality and are often treated terribly online. We are also not believed quite often that this shit actually happens and that we are just lying. This was in fact the nicest of the worst out of all the interaction.
Dating is supposed to be fun, if its like this on a day to day basis (this was over the course of 12 HOURS) its no wonder trans people loose faith in finding love. Let’s make the dating world a more loving place.
❤
I have no idea what I’ll be doing when I get back into the dating game. (I’m holding off on dating as I start T and body begins to change its appearance. Met too many people transitioning who lost their partners and spouses because of it.) I will, however, be staying away from online dating–it has become too much about what we want, setting standards too high, and if they have one or two details we don’t like, we think they’re not the right one. While I do believe compatibility is a big issue to consider, online dating seems about we want, and not about what we’re willing to give. I won’t tell about my junk until things get serious, to avoid chasers and fetishists. If the girl is serious about a relationship, she’ll work with this. If she’s not, we’ll break it off.
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Wow, I had no idea there was so much confusion and hostility out there, thank you for highlighting the issues. I am a straight, married woman who has no knowledge or experience of online dating, but I am curious to learn about people around me (without being rude or outright nosy). I do have friends and family members who are LGBT, and their experiences of the world are all very different and unique. Lots of stories for my fertile imagination and future books! 😉
https://spookymrsgreen.com/2016/04/11/atozchallenge-i-is-for-impatient/
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Thank you. I’m currently writing a book at the moment about queer dating and experiences online. Its proving to be quite a challenge at the moment
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