I’ve said in my blog several times about how I’m poly and about both of my current partners (who are also poly) but I haven’t exactly gone into it in great detail. So I thought it was about time that I did.
For me, being poly is about being honest about feelings and communication. Now, I totally understand from the start that there are people who function on being monogamous, and I applaud you. I however am not one of those people, and I do not expect my lovers to be any different. You see for me, life is like a box of Krispy Kremes. They all look so amazing, taste great and smell so good. Why would you commit solely to just one flavour. I just can’t. I need to try them all to see what I like.
Now for some, I know that’s a terrible analogy, and I agree. There are many MANY ways of being poly. I however choose the “relationship anarchist” route. I don’t base my relationships on my own structure or rules, I work with everyone else and make sure they are happy with it. I understand that with different relationships come with different needs and wants and I respect that.
I know the big questions you are asking about, mainly centres around jealousy. And I will answer that now. Anyone who says that they are not jealous , about 80% of the time us lying. Its a perfectly normal and healthy reaction to have. I never expect anyone not to be jealous, however what i expect is communication and talking, because I can then work on my own behaviour to resolve any issues a partner may face.
I also understand that time and time sharing can be a huge issue sometimes, and I do try and share out my time as fairly as possible. I understand that sometimes that I fuck up pretty badly, but I try and rectify it as best as I can. Next year I’m going to just get Calender’s and stick them everywhere.
I also understand that some partners might have different needs to others and I respect that. I am also fully aware that not all of my relationships would/will be sexual and that’s something I am also fine with, because I believe that intimacy isn’t solely based on sexual activity. I am also aware that I cannot perform a lot of requirements sometimes needed as a boyfriend, and I am more than happy for my partners to have other partners.
I suppose this post was based on my views on my relationship/s and I know that my views are not the same as other peoples. I just thought it would be nice to show an insight as to how my head works with it
Thank you for reading. Are you poly? How do you deal with your relationships? Get in touch π
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Well said. The Boyfriend is poly (me, not so much) and has two girlfriends. We’ve been together for over five years now, have a house, cars, the whole nine yards together and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He even has a son from another short-time partner (whoops, guess the doctor was wrong about potency!) and I love that kid as if he was mine. You’re absolutely right; the only way it can work properly is to have honesty and communication.
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Thank you for your wonderful comment
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Very interesting. I am very boringly monogamous, but I have a good friend who started dating a polyamorous girl so it has been interesting to learn about the walk of life. TO each their own I say! π
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Thank you for your comment. I totally understand that being poly isn’t for a lot of people and being a relationship anarchist even less. But its still awesome to hear from other peoples perspectives
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Not at all poly, but I am pagan and there are a lot of poly people in the community so I have really enjoyed learning about it. Not my lifestyle, but I know a lot of people who find it works amazing for them and I think that’s great.
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