In celebration of Bi Visibility week and day (23rd September) I thought I would make a post about it, explaining how I feel about being Bi as a trans masculine identified person.
Now I can tell you it’s not a walk in the park. There is a misconception that bisexual people get it easy, that we are all greedy and we can’t actually make up our minds to be either gay or straight.
This is untrue. Firstly, its not easy. Having to explain to both yourself and others that you like 2 or more genders is frustrating. It took me a long time to accept that I was neither gay or straight. I couldn’t be either gay or straight, I find a person attractive regardless of their gender expression and body parts. It was never a thing I thought of when I was dating someone. The things I always found attractive were tattoos, humour and wit. Something that anyone could have regardless of who they were.
What I found when I became more public about being bisexual, is that the LG community doesn’t actually like us that much, and want to label us as greedy, and fence sitters. Now I can safely say that I’m no fence sitter (my ass won’t fit for starters) and my greediness has nothing to do with myself being bisexual. I’m a self confessed slut. Something I am proud of, and hold my badge high. This has zero relevance to the people I’m with though. I have also made up my mind with what I like also, anyone.
There is also this bizarre idea that trans people cannot be bisexual. That bisexual solely relates to two binary genders, and that a trans person would have to label themselves as Pansexual at the very least. Well you can stop that right now. Bisexual means two OR MORE genders. This statement also implies that trans people couldn’t be straight or gay either. I know that this post is about being bisexual, but any erasure of sexual identity, because it doesn’t fit tidily into a little box, is utter bullshit. Now I know that there are people who identify themselves as bisexual, and only like binary genders, but there are others that like different combinations , or even all. There is no one way to be bisexual. The description is in the title.
For a community that’s probably the largest sexual minority group, it is often the most erased by some of the others. I once used to go to a youth group that refused to accept that I was bisexual because I was with a cis man. I was also told that I wasn’t bisexual because I was with a cis woman. Though once they found out that one of my partners was a trans woman, they accepted it. I do not even want to begin to tell you what was wrong with that. This is a common thing though, bi people are being erased from services because of the current partner/s they are with at the time.
When I first came out as bisexual (probably about 14 at the time) it wasn’t known about. People were one or the other. In 14 years, I have noticed that peoples ideas are about the same. There needs to be more education with people about bisexual relationships, and that its actually really common to find a whole different collection of people attractive, regardless of gender.
I should add one thing before I close this. Yes I am also poly, both my partners are also part of the bisexual/pansexual community. Being poly doesn’t automatically make you bi, just as much as being bi doesn’t make you poly. There are many bisexual people that are mono as well as there are many poly people that are straight or gay. Being one doesn’t make you automatically the other.
Now I’ve explained how I feel about being bisexual, you can tell me how you feel. What are you doing for bi visibility day, got any plans? How do you feel about being bisexual? Maybe you have other feelings towards sexuality and gender. Give me a message and tell me what you think.
Posted from WordPress for Android
Tyler Charles Austen 
Thank you for this post.
Unfortunately, I too have experienced more discrimination and verbal abuse from the members of LG than anywhere else. People would literally shout “Doesn’t your ass hurt from riding the fence so long?”
I noticed repeatedly though that my being bisexual was affecting their sense of safety (in that particular community). They grew up feeling under attack all their life, and they could see safety when they were surrounded by people exactly like them only.
It helped me with my empathy toward them and helped curb my frustration.
But it does not help give the bisexuals the support they need. Luckily I’m sort of used to not being supported, but I am scared for other people in my position.
Posts like yours will hopefully them feel supported.
LikeLike
I’m so sorry that you have experienced all that frustration.
Thank you for your wonderful comment
LikeLike
Blogs/writings like this need to be out there because there is are still massive misconceptions about bi people, their relationships, their loves/attractions and their lives.
In the year 2015 it is very sad that elements of the LG community reject our life choices, erasing our existence whilst many straight people think that we are totally “greedy”, some might be but no more than other identities.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you ❤
LikeLike
I remember once reading a sex psychology book that posited most everyone was bisexual at heart, albeit on a varying and / or fluctuating scale. Admittedly, knowing that I certainly am puts me in no place to contradict this, but I have heard the same theory in other places. Of course, one would expect social conservatives and alpha male types to strenuously deny any glimmer of same sex attraction within their psyche. Sad, though, if the LG community feels obliged to simply flip such narrow mindedness on its head rather than truly challenge it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadly I don’t think at the moment the LG community is willing to either understand or attempt to work with the bisexual community.
I do feel however that there are many people who are strictly homo or heterosexual and to imply that everyone is on the scale of bisexual may make people feel like their identities are being erased.
LikeLiked by 1 person
More than likely, but it is horizontal hostility like this that always makes me wonder how many people who claim to be 100% secure in their identities actually are…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is a totally fair point. Maybe a lot of people cannot handle liking more than one gender
LikeLiked by 1 person
I personally think that people who insist in their identity have a reason.
Maybe it’s important for their sense of security – the sense of belonging. Maybe it’s so they don’t feel so lost and confused and painful. Maybe it’s important for other reasons. But I think that we have to be kind and let them have that.
Besides, isn’t what we bisexuals hate the most being told the identity we believe in don’t exist?
LikeLiked by 1 person