You know by now that once you come out as bisexual you will often get some of the most stupidest questions and statements given to you. Some are just people curious and not knowing better. Some are just people being dicks. However today we are going through these statements. I did a post very similar in previous months, but over time biphobia has been getting steadily worse for some.
1) All the bi people I know have a preferred gender, no one likes men and women equally?!.
Well for starters how many bisexual people have you questioned. Whilst there are some bisexual people have a preference, many do not. This comment also erases non binary identified people. There are many bisexual people who are attracted to non binary people. Bisexual means that you like 2 or more genders, it doesn’t say that you can only like one more or that you have to like everyone. Being bisexual is different for everyone.
2) I’ve never met a bisexual person willing to date a trans person.
Just like the first point, how many people were actually asked? Both my partners are trans. Actually both my partners are also non binary. As a trans person this frustrates me because it tells us that we are unlovable. That no bi people would ever date someone who has to live with gender dysphoria which is total bullshit. There are many bi people in relationships with trans and/or non binary people and this needs to be validated more.
3) You grow out of it eventually/ Its a stepping stone to being gay or straight.
Some bisexual people have and will come out as monosexual and that’s ok but its not that common. Telling someone that they will grow out of liking more than one gender or will become gay later down the line erases their own identity. It is not a stepping stone for most bi people and its not us trying to be cool or trying to work out what in 20 years time what we “truly want”
4) Can you have a threesome with my partner and I?
This is mainly aimed at women who come out as bisexual, though it does happen to other gendered people too. Just because someone is bisexual doesn’t mean they are going to want to sleep with everyone and to assume so is gross. Do not try and force sex on someone because they are bisexual. Don’t force sex full stop actually. Not all bisexual people are into you, take your over inflated ego and FUCK OFF!!!
5) You are just greedy/slutty/untrustworthy.
Look just because someone is attracted to more than one gender doesn’t mean they are going to have sex with everyone (see point 4). It doesn’t mean that they are more or less able to cheat on someone, it doesn’t mean that they are all not going to be monogamous and it doesn’t mean you should be trusting them any less then anyone else. If you say this, you genuinely do not deserve to have bi friends.
Mono people. If you really want to make conversation with bisexual people. Start by saying hi. If you feel that a persons sexuality needs to be discussed remember its none of your fucking business really unless you are dating them and treat bisexual people with respect.
Thank you. Remember that international bisexual day is 23rd September ❤
Wow! Great post. I think one of the biggest reasons people say such stupid things to people is based on their own assumptions of how we live our lives. I personally have learned that until you walk in someone’s shoes you have no right to say anything judgmental to them. Assuming anyone would be okay with a threesome or that they are simply transitioning into another sexuality is ignorant at best, and flat out rude at worst. Thank you for sharing this!
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Point 5 is fantastic! I get a bit confused about the idea of Bisexual and Pansexual. What are your thoughts?
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I believe pan is attraction to all, and bisexual is attraction to Two or more genders. 🙂
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I guess I would have two responses. Since I would generally not have a clue as to another’s sexuality, I would generally have no directed response. (This would be the most common.) But, if that someone brought it up, my response would depend upon why it came up. If I were interested in a relationship and this was the response, then my interest would be quelled. (I have no desire to share- I’m selfish in that regard.) If it came up just because, then i would probably just say cool and change the subject. Because we each have our own lives to lead. And, that lifestyle or life choice doesn’t involve one attempting to kill others, to deny science, or to control the world. So, “Let it be” applies.
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I have to confess I have never really considered the fact that some people are non-binary (is that the correct phrase?) since I have had little or no contact in my social circles. Coming from a very traditional background, this is all a huge and fascinating learning curve (and brilliant inspiration for characters in my stories!)
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I am proud of coming out of the closet as bisexual
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Nice post 🙂
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